


Couples Therapy

by FaerieDust4U



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Romance, CouplesTherapy, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Inspired by Music, M/M, Marriage, Music, Musical References, Musicals, Romance, Slice of Life, bobhwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22953403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaerieDust4U/pseuds/FaerieDust4U
Summary: "I hope someday you will find me and remember what I once meant to you."-Lang Leav, Memories
Relationships: Kim Jinhwan/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 56
Kudos: 155





	1. Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.
> 
> James Arthur [Hurts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENKb5dW0x-A)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

**_"I'm sorry Mr. Kim. We can't proceed if there's only one of you. I'm giving you one more chance. If it's still the same, I'm afraid we can't forward your case to the judge."_ **

The words resonated in Jinhwan’s brain like crispy nachos and he couldn’t help but loudly curse. **"Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!"** His nails turned white from gripping the car wheel tightly, gritting his teeth from anger. 

It was simple. Show up and get it over with but trust the asshole to not to be there. He bit his lip as he glared at the house before him. 

He suddenly felt a wind of melancholia pass him. _'Nothing’s changed.'_ Not that he expected any but at least a few changes could have been nice but instead it remained the same as he left, a dull white colored two-storey house. 

His mind was caught upon imagining what changes he would have made, that he didn’t notice the soft knocking on his window. As the knocking became louder, he turned and jumped. He hurriedly fumbled for his seatbelt and went out of the car. Before him stood Mrs. Kim, Jiwon's mother. 

Jinhwan’s mouth open and closed, unsure of what to say. It’s been years since he last saw her. Much to his surprise, the older woman pulled him into a hug. 

For the first time in long while, Jinhwan relaxed and hugged back. She then pulled away and stepped back, at arm’s length, and studied his face. **"So good to see you, Jinhwan!"**

 **"Hello, M-... Mrs. Kim."** He gave her an awkward smile. 

Her brows furrowed before realization hit her. **"Ahh... Aunty. Call me Aunty. What brings you here?"**

**"I came to talk to him. Is... Is he home?"**

**"Um I think so. Why don’t we go in and check? I’d love to catch up with you! It’s been a long time."** Mrs. Kim had a hopeful smile on her face. She knew her boundaries and Jinhwan was glad for her understanding. 

He gave her a smile before nodding. He always had a soft spot for the older woman. **"I'd love that."**

How long ago was it since he last stepped foot in the house? Three? Four years maybe? He doesn’t exactly remember now. He sighed in resignation as he reluctantly dragged his feet towards the house - the place he vowed never to return to.

But his body must have thought differently because he instantly relaxed upon entering the familiar threshold. Jinhwan looked around the place and memories flashed before his head here and there. It was nostalgic and bitter. **“It’s still the same.”**

**“Ah yes. Jiwon prohibited any major changes around the house so we only ever change when repairs are needed. He always says-”**

**“That’s enough, Mom. What’s he doing here?”** Jiwon tilted his head while leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. 

**“Aish! Jiwonie why did you stop?!”** A small feminine voice could be heard from behind Jiwon. 

Jinhwan raised an eyebrow towards Jiwon to which the younger just shrugged. Soon enough, a small female appeared, fixing her blouse. **“Oh! I didn’t know you had any visitors.”** She unconsciously grabbed Jiwon’s arm to steady herself.

 **“I didn’t.”** Jiwon replied rather coldly.

Jinhwan gritted his teeth as he continued to stare at Jiwon and this… this… tramp beside him. He didn’t know why he even felt disrespected but he hated how Jiwon was flaunting his charms under their roof, in front of his mother too. **“Mind taking your hands off him?”**

Jiwon raised a brow towards Jinhwan but the older man seemed to focus his attention on the female beside him. _‘Interesting.’_

 **“And… who are you to tell me that?”** She cockily replied. 

**“I’m _HIS_ husband. As far as I'm concerned, you're the one who’s not part of this family. So I suggest you take your hands off of him before I drag your pretty self outside.”** Jinhwan gave her a small smile that could have been daggers hidden in a piece of candy. 

The woman’s eyes bulged and held up her hands, waving one hand in surrender. **“Whoa there. White flag.”**

To say she was afraid would be wrong but she was hella intimidated. Jinhwan may be a little bit short in the height but he sure can intimidate a person with just a look. **“I’m not taking him away from you… not yet anyway. Oppa, if you ever get tired of him, you know where to find me. Bye Aunty!”**

 **“Later, Katie.”** Jiwon drawled with amusement in his voice. Unbeknownst to Jinhwan, Katie actually knows who Jinhwan is but trust her to rile the older up.

Jinhwan curled his hands in anger as the woman had the audacity to wink at him as she passed by, skipping cheerfully out of the house. He then turned to Jiwon. **“We need to talk. NOW.”**

 **“I better prepare some coffee.”** Mrs. Kim awkwardly said.

Jiwon calmly sipped on his coffee before walking away. **“Don’t bother, Mom. I’m sure my ex-husband won’t stay long.”**

 **“It’s alright, Mrs. Kim. I won’t take too much of your time. It was lovely seeing you.”** Jinhwan gave her a smile before sauntering off to where Jiwon went, leaving Mrs. Kim to only sigh.

He found Jiwon tinkering with a computer in what used to be their storage room. The place was full of instruments and music devices with papers scattered here and there.

 **“What do you want?”** Jiwon casually said, not even glancing in Jinhwan’s direction.

And Jinhwan was reminded why he was there in the first place. His eyes turned into slits as he approached Jiwon and turned off the monitor. **“Today was our first session. Why didn’t you show up?”**

Jiwon looked up and turned the monitor on again. He continued what he was doing calmly, ignoring the fuming Jinhwan. **“Hm… that was today, huh?”**

**“YES! Is it so difficult to just how up so that we can get this over with?”**

**“Why? In a hurry to marry that snotty boyfriend of yours?”**

**“Ju-ne is not snotty! Did you even receive my message?!”**

Jinhwan’s loud shrieking made Jiwon stand, facing the older. **“I already signed your goddamn divorce papers. Why do I have to attend this stupid therapy? As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have any obligation to you anymore.”**

 **“The judge requires therapy for the divorce to be final and I can’t bloody answer for you.”** He let out a sigh before closing his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. The pounding of his head just getting worse.

Jiwon shrugged and proceeded to look for a piece of paper he needed. **“That’s not my problem.”**

 **“Look Jiwon… I don’t have the energy to fight with you. I just-… I just need you to do me this last favor. After that, you won’t ever see me again.”** Jinhwan said, exhaustion evident in his voice.

Jiwon, who still had his back towards Jinhwan, froze.

####  _Jiwon._

It had been such a long time since he has heard his name coming from the older’s lips. He turned to finally look at him properly – bags under his eyes and body thinnest Jinhwan’s ever been. _‘What the hell happened to you these past years?’_ He continued to observe the older before an absurd idea came up. 

**“Okay. I’ll attend to this therapy you so badly want.”** Jiwon declared and the older snapped his head to look at the younger, only to be surprised Jiwon was already staring at him. The younger slowly approached Jinhwan and out of panic, the older began stepping back until his back hit the wall. **“But on one condition.”**

Jinhwan gulped. Jiwon was dangerously close to him right now and honestly he’d prefer if they’d talked with distance. **“And that is?”**

**“One night with you.”**

**“O-kay? I could reserve us dinner and-”**

Jiwon’s deep chuckled made every hair on Jinhwan’s stand up. “ **Oh no, Luv. I want one…”** His swept Jinhwan’s body before licking his lips. **“Sexual night with you.”**

 _‘He can’t be serious…’_ Jinhwan blinked furiously as he thought he misheard. **“Do you know what you’re asking of me?! I’m in a relationship! That’s basically cheating!”**

 **“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”** Jiwon taunted.

**“This is ridiculous!”**

Jiwon clicked his tongue. **“Then good luck finding a man that could be my stand in. although I doubt there will be one, they already know my face.”**

**“Seriously??”**

**“Yeah and did I mention sober?”**

**“Wha- what???”** Jinhwan looked at Jiwon as if he’s crazy.

 **“Mhm… One sober night so that I’d hear your raw… sexy voice…”** Jiwon’s height towered over Jinhwan dangerously. He leaned in closely to the older’s ear. **“Moaning my name… your nails scratching my back as I fuck you… hard just how you like it...”**

Jinhwan can deny a lot of things but one thing he can’t lie about is how their body chemistry is just perfect. Too perfect that one simple kiss can ignite the older’s desires. His breath hitched as he could feel Jiwon’s warm body close to him. **“One… night?”**

 **“One night.”** Jiwon’s lips hovered over the older’s lips, his gaze intense.

The older unconsciously licked his lips as he slowly nodded, leaning to meet Jiwon’s lips. Much to his chagrin and embarrassment, the younger suddenly pulled back with a smirk on his face. **“You’re an asshole!”**

**“Takes one to know one, Luv.”**

**“Fuck you!”**

Jiwon cocked his head to the side and smirked. **“I know you want to.”**

 **“You better keep your end of the bargain.”** Jinhwan gave Jiwon one last glare before banging every door, leaving the house. ‘ _Damn him’_ , he thought. He was so mad at Jiwon that he had to hug his body to prevent himself from shaking any further.

He breathed out a sigh before his mother came rushing in the room, likely because of the loud banging of the doors. **“Is everything okay with you and Jinani?”**

Jiwon raised a brow at his mother. **“When have we been okay, Mom?”**

Mrs. Kim sighed. She nodded and decided to get out of her son’s way to prepare for dinner but right before she left, she whispered **“There was a time when you guys were okay… when you were in love.”**

Jiwon looked at the retreating back of his mother and ran a hand on his face. Out of frustration, he suddenly slapped the pile of paper beside him, making it scatter all over the floor. He sat down in front of the small piano and played a random tune. As soon as calmed down, he closed his eyes and his gruff voice resonated in the room, 

_Baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts_

_And loving you the way I do, it hurts_

_When all that's left to do is watch, it burn_

_Baby, I'm not made of stone, it hurts_

_It hurts the way you pretend you don't remember me_

_And it hurts the way that you forget our times together baby_

_Like the time laid in bed when you said it's forever, baby_

_It's forever, baby…_

_**'I love you, Jiwon. It's forever you and me.'**_ Jinhwan smiled before the older pressed his lips against his. Jiwon's breathing became labored as he slowly opened his eyes - the words that continued to haunt him every day flashed on his mind, booming loudly.

He clenched his hands and gritted his teeth. Just how cruel is the world top him that at the moment he resigned himself into signing that damn divorce papers, he receives a message of this ridiculous therapy that demands his presence.

 _‘Well, tough luck.’_ There is no way that he’ll make it easy for Jinhwan.

He vowed to do anything he can to make it hurt because he can’t be the only who stares blankly at the ceiling every night thinking about all their promises.

He refuses to believe that he’s the only one hurting.

He just can’t be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Arthur [Hurts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENKb5dW0x-A)


	2. Make You Feel My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

**Mistletoe** , as they are more commonly known, were music novices who shook the world when their sample song that was uploaded on SoundCloud went viral.

The first time they shook the world was when a popular music label signed them both in the company. It wasn't long until they won awards with the songs that they make. To dub them as music prodigies was not far from reality. Nothing could come between their duo and soon they became legends.

The second time they shook the world was a video of both of them - getting married in Las Vegas. Their fans went crazy with the unconfirmed news as they both stayed away from the media for a while. A week later, Jinhwan uploaded a photo of them holding hands with the caption ‘ _Yes we said I do! We hope you guys can be happy for us and continue to support us! We love you!’_

The last time, and probably the most earth shaking thing they ever did, was when they announced to the world their divorce after four years of marriage. It was chaos as fans deeply begged the news not to be true. It was like a slap on the face when Jinhwan deleted all of his posts about Jiwon and the latter deleting all his social media and went on a music hiatus.

The world fell into a silent mourning.

* * *

She sighed as she continued to look at the small CCTV screen, dreading going inside the other room. How in the world did this happen? She shook her head as she took a deep breath and opened the door. 

**“No need to stand, please. Good to see you both present this session.”** She fixed her coat and seated herself at the chair across the couch where the couple sat at opposite ends. Jinhwan gave her a small smile and reluctantly looked at Jiwon. **“Okay so I have two rules here. One is that you call me Doctor or Doc. There is no need for you to know my name as you won’t be contacting me outside of this office. My services are limited inside these walls. And two, I need honesty.”**

 **“We’re here aren't we? Shouldn't that be enough?”** Jiwon said, completely bored.

Doctor raised a brow before turning her attention to Jiwon. **“Don’t get cocky with me, Mr. Other Kim. If you think that this therapy is going to be approved after a session you are sorely mistaken. My job is to help you and I do not tolerate dickheads.”**

 **“Sorry, Doctor. We promise to cooperate.”** Jinhwan interjected and gave Jiwon a warning look. 

**“We’ll see about that. Do you mind if I record this?”** Doctor asked, to which Jinhwan quickly shook his head before Jiwon could answer. She pressed on the button before leaning back into the chair. **“Let's start. How did you two get together? Do you want to go first Mr. Other Kim?”**

Jiwon blinked before forcing a smile. **“We met in college, we got married and now we are getting a divorce.”**

_Silence._

The room was silent for a few minutes. Doctor looked at both of them before shaking her head and standing up. **“This session is over. I will not do this therapy and good luck on finding a counselor who is available this time around. Goodbye.”**

 **“WAIT! Please, Doctor!”** Jinhwan panicked. He quickly turned to Jiwon with pleading eyes. **“Jiwon…. Please…”**

####  _Jiwon._

There it was again - a subtle twinge in his heart as he heard his name. He licked his lips and let out an awkward laugh. **“C’mon Doc. It was a joke, okay?”**

Doctor looked up from the document she was reading before setting it down to the side. **“Let's get something clear here. This is my job. The only reason why I took this case, or to be precise - forced to take, is because it was a favor from the judge. And before you start having the notion that I'm trying to reconcile you two together then I’m going to stop you right there.”**

 **“You’re not?”** Jinhwan asked.

She sighed and scribbled something on a piece of paper, extending it to Jinhwan. **“No I am not. If you don't believe me then you can ask that guy. He’s one of the people I counseled before. Look I don't care if you separate or get the divorce finalized. My job here is to help you understand how it happened, when it started, what made you give up. So if you’re going to take me as a joke then you're wasting my time.”** The doctor’s stern but calm voice held power that made both men speechless. 

**“So, we clear?”** She sat back down and crossed her legs, looking at them both who slowly bobbed their head. **“Good. Shall we start again? How did you two get together?”**

 **“Well... I think you could call us…”** Jinhwan took the chance to speak before Jiwon could but immediately hesitated as he’s not really sure what to say. He quickly glanced at his side before proceeding, **“We were college… sweethearts.”**

* * *

* * *

_Jinhwan softly hummed as he enjoyed the afternoon sun. His feet swayed as he read the new book he was waiting for. He momentarily looked up from his book and saw a few girls quickly look away and started giggling. He adjusted his book to hide his rolling eyes._

_It's not that he’s being a snob but he hated the attention he gets just because he’s one of the top students in the school. It came with perks but with it also came the exploitation so he cherishes any alone time he could get._

_The small cough caught his attention and he lowered his book to see a pair of dirty rubber shoes. His eyes slowly looked up to see who the owner was. Jinhwan masked his surprise by squinting._

**_“Are you Kim Jinhwan?”_ **

_Jinhwan tilted his head to the side and returned to reading his book. **“Who’s asking?”**_

**_“I am. My name is Kim Jiwon.”_ ** _Jiwon replied._

_Jinhwan looked at him again and properly looked him over. Kim Jiwon in his big loose hoodie and ripped pants looked like a delinquent student who people were afraid to get close to. His rough appearance and tiny eyes made him even more intimidating but there was something about the way he talked that piqued Jinhwan's interests. **“Are you here because someone dared you?”**_

_Jiwon was taken aback by the question but shrugged his shoulders. **“You could say that.”**_

**_“What was the dare?”_ **

_The younger scratched the back of his head and looked anywhere but Jinhwan. “ **To ask you out.”** Jiwon bit his inner cheek as he was met with silence. He was about to run to save himself the embarrassment as people were starting to look at them but he was surprised when Jinhwan stood up and dusted his pants. _

**_“So? Why aren't you asking me out?”_ ** _Jinhwan calmly said as if it was the most normal thing to do._

_Jiwon lifted a brow and a smile formed on his lips. **“You're something else. So wanna go out with me?”**_

_* * * * *_

_A week later Jinhwan enjoyed the morning breeze as he listened to the gentle strumming of a guitar, half of his torso visible on the small window of his dorm. Jiwon was in bed, naked, strumming to ‘My Type’ by this popular band named iKON. When he reached a certain part, the older turned to him and said, **“Oh I love this part!”**_

**_Oh neukkimjeogin neukkim_ **

**_tto mwonga maehokjeogin nunbiche maeryodwae_ **

_They both sang at the same time and Jinhwan looked at Jiwon and noticed they had the same surprised expression. Their blend so well that it was perfect. Too perfect. Jinhwan bit his lip and gently chuckled. He looked out the window again and waved his hand._

_Jiwon rolled his eyes. He guessed that Jinhwan was waving at the football team having their morning practice. **‘Douchebags.’** He inwardly thought as he stood up and hugged Jinhwan from the back. Jiwon smirked as he flipped a finger at them and the guys who were looking made a sour face._

**_“You’re a jerk. I was only saying hello.”_** _Jinhwan leaned his back on the younger’s chest._

**_“Are you trying to make me jealous?”_ ** _Jiwon whispered in Jinhwan's ear and the older’s sharp intake of breath made him gently nibble on his earlobe._

_Jinhwan moaned and pressed his ass on the younger’s already hard cock. **“Are you jealous?”**_

_Jiwon’s hand travelled down and slowly started stroking Jinhwan's cock. It took only a few seconds before it came alive, hungry for more groping. **“And what if I am?”** He then planted a kiss on the older’s neck, sucking on a sensitive area there. _

**_“Careful… this was just a dare. People might think we are serious.”_ ** _Jinhwan closed his eyes and bit his lip. He didn't even care that they were being ogled at by the football team. Jiwon’s lips and hands were doing wonders on his body and that was way more important._

 **_“What if I want to be serious?”_ ** _The younger gripped Jinhwan's cock with a little bit of force this time and it made the older yelp._

_Jinhwan gave him a glare before turning around and pushing Jiwon onto the bed. The younger sat and licked his upper lip in anticipation. He eagerly embraced the older as Jinhwan straddled him, circling his arms around Jiwon’s neck. **“So let’s be serious.”**_

_Jiwon was already reaching for the lube on the bedside table. Jinhwan stared at the sticky liquid on the younger’s hand with excitement. He bit his lip as he felt Jiwon insert two fingers inside, making his body tense. He whimpered when the younger started moving his fingers in scissors motion. As soon as his ass relaxed, Jiwon took out his fingers and squeezed the lube again, coating his own cock with it. **“You sure you’re okay with a bad boy like me?”**_

**_“Oh luv… don't you know? Bad boys make the best lovers. Besides, who says I'm a good boy?”_ ** _Jinhwan smirked but soon after, his face distorted and a loud moan escaped his lips as Jiwon’s hard twitching cock slowly slid into him._

* * *

* * *

Jinhwan played with his fingers as he finished. He, of course, omitted the sex details but his mind remembered it so clearly.

 **“That… was interesting.”** Doctor said as she looked at the couple before her. The air seemed to have changed - heavier and somewhat less hostile. She had to stop herself from grinning because the next question would probably throw them out of the game. **“When did you know that you fell in love?”**

Jinhwan blinked. When did he? His brows knit as he seriously thought about the question. **“It just happened naturally I guess? I honestly can't tell you when.”**

 **“I can.”** Jiwon pursed his lips and avoided Jinhwan's burning gaze. Honestly he wasn't trying to stir things up but if Doctor wanted honesty, he’ll give it to her. What's more to lose, right? He looked at the Doctor who looked at him with expectant eyes. **“Right… um... It was when we were having a date after becoming official. We were in a cafe, sharing headphones as we listened to music. It was nerve wrecking for me because we were openly being together but he sat there, with me, smiling with sparks in his eyes. He… looked different that day like it was the first time I truly saw him. I realized I wanted that in my life, possibly forever.”** Jiwon smiled remembering that day. He then sadly looked down as he sensed the older’s gaze never leaving him. He coughed and adjusted his jacket. “ **So yeah… that's when I knew.”**

Doctor exhaled a breath and nodded. She looked at them and decided it was time to end the session. She wouldn't want to add to Jinhwan’s baffled expression. **“Right. That was um... Good. You guys did well. I think that concludes our first session. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing next time. So I’ll see you next week.”**

Jinhwan turned to the Doctor confused. **“Thank you Doctor.”** He meekly said as he grabbed his bag and quickly left the office. Jiwon exhaled and scratched the back of his head. Doctor could only give him a consoling smile before he, too, left.

* * *

**“Babe? Are you here?”**

Jinhwan feigned sleep as Junhoe appeared in their bedroom reeking of alcohol. He didn't want to talk about today. He was just too tired. Jiwon’s confession still lingered in his mind. He didn't expect for him to answer so honestly but well that was one thing about Jiwon - he didn't know how to lie. 

Truth be told, he remembered that day clearly… because it was the first time he felt truly happy. He remembered Jiwon’s bunny smile and infectious laugh. He remembered how when the younger reached out to touch his hand but missed by a mere second. They were clumsy that day but Jinhwan made sure to hold Jiwon’s hand tightly as they were going back to the dorm. 

His hand unconsciously reached for a pouch below his pillow and he couldn't help but close his eyes, reliving that day; his hand gently stroking the outline of the gold band that resided inside.

Somewhere in the city, a soft melody was playing into the air - a song that would probably be left forgotten. Soon after, sorrowful words accompanied the sad tune,

_I know you_

_Haven't made_

_Your mind up yet_

_But I would never_

_Do you wrong_

_I've known it_

_From the moment_

_That we met_

_No doubt in my mind_

_Where you belong_

Jiwon sadly smiled as he closed the piano. Although he only had a glimpse of it in his peripheral vision, he couldn't shake off Jinhwan's shocked face that afternoon. He looked up to the lonely sky before heaving a sigh, his thumb playing with the gold band that was on his ring finger, wondering if Jinhwan even remembers that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teddy Swims (Cover) [Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FJapX0fR84)


	3. How Will I Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

_Ding! Dong!_

A pretty man with big doe eyes answered the door. **“Yes?”** His smile remained frozen on his face and his eyes became even bigger as he opened the door wide. **“Come in.”**

Jinhwan was bewildered as he stepped into the house. He hasn't said anything yet but this stranger casually let him in his home. He followed the pretty man towards the kitchen and suspiciously watched what he was doing. **“Um… I’m sorry to barge in on you like this. My name-”**

 **“Kim Jinhwan! Yes, I know!”** The man laid out two cups on the table. **“Tea?”**

 **“Uh… yeah sure? I'm sorry I'm finding this all bizarre. Do you make it a habit of inviting people to your home?”** Jinhwan felt somehow concerned for this carefree guy.

The man chuckled and gestured for the seat across from him. **“No! I only invited you in because it's Kim Jinhwan from Mistletoe! I'm a big fan!”**

 **“Right… Yun-”** Jinhwan looked at the paper he had in his hand to check the name again. **“Yunhyeong, is it? That's very dangerous, you know.”**

Yunhyeong waved a hand in front of his face. **“Pfft! There is no way in hell I’d miss the chance to let someone famous inside my home. Although my insides are shaking… well I’m just going to go ahead and ask, what brings you here?”**

Jinhwan was in awe. He had always been careful about his words with people to avoid any conflicts but here is this man who says what he wants to say and somehow he doesn't find it offending at all. If anything, he wants to protect him from the harsh world. **“The Doctor said I could see you?”**

 **“Aahh… Doc sent you. How is she nowadays?”** Yunhyeong cheerfully poured hot water on Jinhwan's cup, unbothered by what the older said.

**“She’s… okay, I guess.”**

Yunhyeong’s happy smile suddenly disappeared as he leaned back on his chair. **“If she sent you here… that must mean you're undergoing therapy. I’ve heard about your divorce. I mean who didn't, right? Two of the most popular musicians are getting a divorce. I’m surprised it took you this long to get therapy.”**

**“Well, we recently processed it so…”**

**“What exactly do you want to know?”**

Jinhwan hesitated. Yes, what did he want to know? Will the therapy help? Will she recommend not getting a divorce? Or will he finally be free? 

As he was thinking hard on what to ask, Yunhyeong observed the man before him. He was no stranger to this certain situation as he, too, had couples therapy a couple of years ago. It just made him sad that Jinhwan seemed so lost. “ **Seems like you're confused. You’re worried, aren't you?”** Yunhyeong innocently asked.

Jinhwan tilted his head. **“I am?”**

Yunhyeong nodded and gave him a gentle smile. **“You're worried that this therapy might change your mind. You're afraid to feel things towards your husband… right?”**

**“It's not-... I mean-...”**

**“You don't have to lie to me. I know because I’ve been in your position. It’s difficult to actually address the problems of your relationship but trust me when I tell you she’s not there to fix things. She’s just there to help you understand. Sometimes what we think is the problem… isn't really the problem at all. You never know… you might discover things you didn't even know. Honesty does wonders. It did for me.”**

And there it was. In not so many words, Yunhyeong was able to answer a big part of Jinhwan’s apprehension. He didn't want to acknowledge it but there it was - a lingering feeling he couldn't explain. 

After their first session, he realized that Yunhyeong is right. It was the first time he had heard of Bobby’s confession and it gave him sleepless nights hence why he ended up coming here. He needed answers and talking with Yunhyeong helped a lot. He shouldn't worry too much, right? 

**“Are you happy with your current lover?”** Yunhyeong asked like an innocent child.

 **“I... think so.”** Jinhwan replied.

Yunhyeong then smiled. **“Then you have nothing to worry about. Everything that will happen will happen. You just have to be honest with yourself.”**

**“What happened after your therapy session?”**

Yunhyeong didn't get to answer as a loud booming voice called out. **“Hon, have you seen my-... Oh! Sorry, I didn't know you had a guest.”** A man, a bit smaller in height, suddenly appeared in the kitchen. 

**“It’s okay! This is Mr. Kim Jinhwan! He has come to visit me! You know from the famous band-”**

**“Mistletoe!”**

**“Mistletoe.”**

When Yunhyeong heard his husband’s reply, he jumped from his seat and clapped. **“RIGHT!”**

The husband rolled his eyes and extended his hand to Jinhwan. **“Mistletoe is his favorite band. Nice to meet you! My name is Donghyuk. I'm sorry about my husband. He just has a pure heart.”**

 **“It’s fine. It's very refreshing to talk with him.** ” The oldest smiled. He was about to ask his last question again but the loud beep from his phone distracted him. He smiled as he saw Jun-e’s name on the screen. **“I’m sorry to cut this short but I have to go.”**

 **“Aawwh… wait!”** Yunhyeong wrote on a small paper and handed it to Jinhwan. **“Here's my number. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can ring me up.”**

Jinhwan gave Yunhyeong a gentle smile before accepting it. **“Thank you. I will be in touch. I’m sorry again for the sudden intrusion. I’ll see myself out.”**

 **“You can come by anytime. We would love to see you again. I'm sure my husband would love it even more.”** Donghyuk received a soft smack on the shoulder from Yunhyeong which made Jinhwan chuckle.

As they watched Jinhwan leave, Yunhyeong leaned his head on Donghyuk’s shoulder. **“DongDong, should we tell him what happens after the sessions?”**

Donghyuk sighed and kissed the older’s forehead instead. **“Let’s not meddle into their affairs, hm? I’m sure he’ll figure things out. C’mon, I’ll help you cook dinner.”**

* * *

**“Hey Babe! I received your text!”** Jinhwan cheerily greeted Jun-e as soon as he picked up the other end. 

**“Yeah… My flight for New York is leaving tonight. I couldn't find you at home so I just left for the airport.”**

Jinhwan’s smile faltered. **“But… I reserved dinner for us tonight.”**

**“Huh? What for? I told you about this important meeting I had.”**

**“It’s our Anniversary… remember?”**

There was a pause before Jun-e’s frustrated sigh could loudly be heard from the other end. **“Shit. Why didn't you remind me? You know I'm a busy person and I don't have time to know each and every plan you make.”**

 **“It’s fine! Sorry... I forgot to remind you… Don’t worry about it. We can reschedule when you come back.”** Jinhwan bit his lip.

**“Right. We’ll just do that over the weekend. Okay I got to go!”**

**“I love yo-”** Jinhwan didn't get to finish as Jun-e already hung up the phone.

* * *

* * *

**“Hyung? What are you doing here? I thought you had an Anniversary dinner tonight?”** Chanwoo, Jinhwan's assistant producer, took off the headphones he had as the sight of Jinhwan on the door. He signaled for Jaewon, a fellow artist in their company, to stop the music.

Jinhwan plopped on the chair next to the youngest. **“He forgot… he said we could do it over the weekend.”**

 **“Seriously?”** Chanwoo asked, his face obviously pissed. 

Jinhwan turned to Chanwoo and smiled. **“It’s fine. I should have reminded him. The weekend would be just as great.”**

 **“Hyung, this is not okay! You shouldn't let him treat you that way! I mean does he really love you?”** Chanwoo received a jab on the side by Jaewon. **“What? Who forgets their anniversary? You want to make a bet... that come this weekend, the ‘celebration’ he mentioned is just going to be drinks with some big shots he’s trying to impress.”**

Jinhwan bit the nail on his thumb. Chanwoo was a cheeky boy but Jinhwan knows that he would never lie to him. He’d tell Jinhwan his honest opinions and that's not limited to music but the older was getting a headache at the punk's rant. He didn't want to hear this now.

 **“Out.”** Jinhwan’s voice made Chanwoo shut up. **“Chanu, I appreciate what you do for me but… I don't want-... I just want to be alone, okay?”**

Chanwoo exhaled a frustrated sigh. **“Sorry. You sure you’ll be okay here? I can help you…”**

 **“It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Now go away! See you tomorrow, kid.”** The older shooed them both and he could hear them banter as they went out. 

He stared at the ceiling until his eyes hurt from the light. His thoughts wandered to how he and Jun-e and got together. 

Junhoe, or Jun-e to others, used to be an artist like him. They met in one of the pubs where Jun-e was performing. He became someone that Jinhwan leaned on when things were rock bottom. He was the ear that listened as the older ranted away his frustrations. He became someone that saved Jinhwan from misery. 

Their casual meet-ups became more frequent until they decided to be officially together. It was only natural that couples help each other out so Jinhwan introduced Jun-e to his company and he eventually worked his way up in management. 

To Jinhwan, Jun-e is a kind and caring man… or at least that was what he used to be. With their busy schedules, they rarely see each other now but the older knows Jun-e loves him. 

But thinking about Jun-e today just makes him sad. Jinhwan meticulously planned for this day. He reserved dinner at this popular restaurant months ahead and even going as far as booking a trip to Jeju Island to go on the weekend. 

He was feeling all sorts of emotions he couldn't explain so he did what he was good at - say it in a form of a lyric. 

Jinhwan found himself staring at the paper and then as if in a trance, produced a random melody that he thinks goes perfectly with it. This is one of the reasons they were dubbed as music prodigies - they spin their pens and hum a tune to an unknown song which later on would be a hit. It didn't matter what genre it was, if it was them they could do it.

He then huffed as this would probably not see the light of day. Just for tonight… he just wanted to get this out of his system. He pressed play and let the words flow,

_How will I know if you really love me?_

_I say a prayer with every heartbeat_

_I fall in love whenever we meet_

_I'm asking you what you know about these things_

_How will I know if you're thinking of me?_

_I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak)_

_Falling in love is so bittersweet_

_This love is strong why do I feel weak_

_If you love me_

_If you love me now_

_If you love me_

_If you love me now_

Jinhwan was panting as the last note reverberated in the studio. He can't believe he just wrote a song about doubting Jun-e. Why would he though? And before he could think of anything else, he consoled himself to the fact that he just had to finish the therapy and then Jun-e and he could finally be together. 

That’s the only reason he could think why his lover was acting the way he did. **“That's it. I just have to get it over and done with.”** Jinhwan tried to cheer himself up as his index finger hovered over the word ‘Delete’ on the keyboard. 

_‘I should delete this. This is wrong.’_ Jinhwan’s finger shook as he continued to stare at that one button. He ended up clenching his hand and pulling it away. He slumped his shoulders and grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged at it hard. 

He hated this. He mentally told himself that it was wrong over and over but despite his loud musings, a tiny voice echoed clearly in his head : _If it was really so wrong, why couldn't you press that one tiny button?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam Smith [How Will I Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXXNNdI8XLY)


	4. Just You and I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.
> 
> 🔞🔞🔞🔞
> 
> This chapter also contains sexual scenes. Please feel free to skip if you are uncomfortable 😊

Jinhwan blew out a long, exasperated sigh as he sat cross legged on the couch. His suspended foot drew circles in the air and his fingers played with each other. When the doctor came inside the room, he let out a relieved sigh. 

Doctor turned to Jiwon mentally asking him what was wrong but the younger just shrugged his shoulders. He honestly didn't know what was happening as he arrived earlier than Jinhwan today. Jiwon thought that they have gotten better over the past few weeks but when the older glared at him and sat at the far end of the couch, he was… disappointed. Not that he had any expectations but he just thought they’ve gotten past the hostile stage.

 **“Hey, Doc. I'm glad you've arrived. Should we start?”** Jinhwan sounded agitated.

**“Are we in a hurry, Jinhwan? We could always reschedule if you want to.”**

The older only licked his lips and crossed his arms on his chest, leaning back on the couch. **“No! I just thought… we start right away.”**

Doctor gave him a suspicious look before pressing the record button. **“Anyway… today we will be talking about sex.”**

 **“WHAT?!”** Jinhwan exclaimed albeit a little too loud and Jiwon flinched at the older’s sudden shout. 

**“Is there a problem, Mr. Kim?”** She calmly asked, irritation evident in her voice. 

The older looked at Jiwon horrified then back at the doctor. **“How is this related to our therapy??”**

 **“How is it not? I’m just simply assessing your compatibility with Bobby. As I’ve said, we could reschedule this session if you're not feeling well today…”** She leaned her elbows on her knees and asked, **“Are you okay, Jinhwan?”**

Before Jinhwan could answer, Jiwon interjected. **“You're a very irritable tiny person today.”** The older glared at him but he shrugged and continued, **“Grumpy Tiny Person.”**

 **“Shut up. I don't want to hear another word from you.”** Jinhwan said through gritted teeth. **“Let’s just proceed. The earlier we finish today, the sooner I can go.”**

 **“Then let’s not dilly dally then. Okay as I’ve said we are going to talk about sex BUT seeing as Mr. Kim isn't really in the mood, we will do this quickly - a simple exercise.''** When the Doctor heard Jinhwan scuff, she paused. The older held up his hands as if to say _‘go on’_. **“With just a word, I’d like you to alternately describe your sex life. Just one word.”**

* * *

* * *

**_"Nani? I heard a crash?”_ ** _Jinhwan’s mother knocked softly on his door._

_Jinhwan, who already had his hand on the door, bit his lower lip as Jiwon stuck out his tongue and licked the back of his neck. **“I’m fine, Mom! I was just-...”** He placed a hand on his mouth to stop himself from moaning. **“I accidentally… hit the books on my dresser… because… horror movie.”**_

_Jiwon’s hands roamed on the older’s torso, playing with Jinhwan's nipples softly before pinching it hard. The older yelped which only made Jiwon smirk. ‘Stop it!’ Jinhwan mouthed. _

**_“Oh okay! Well… be careful next time! Good night!”_ **

**_“O-okay! Night, Mom!”_ ** _Jinhwan pressed his ears on the door to listen to his mother's footsteps. When he was sure she was gone, he glared at Jiwon, who was gently caressing the side of his ass. **“You dick!”** he hissed as he tried to swat the younger’s hands which only made Jiwon pull him towards his erection. _

_He remained silent as his hands now went back to caressing Jinhwan's torso. He started kissing the older’s shoulder as his hand went lower, running his fingers across the V-shaped on Jinhwan's hips. Jiwon’s soft caresses subdued the older’s anger. He focused on touching Jinhwan's body and making him quiver under his touch._

_Soon Jiwon was being roughly pushed onto the bed with moist lips sloppily devouring his._

* * *

* * *

**“Hard.”** Jinhwan started.

Jiwon was surprised that it was Jinhwan’s first word but if the older was going in that direction. Why the hell not? _**“Rough.”**_

The older winced and tried to control his breathing. **“Exhilarating.”**

_**“Messy.”** _

**“Dominating.”**

_**“Stimulating.”** _

Jinhwan hesitated for a minute as he felt Jiwon’s burning gaze on him. **“Raw.”**

Jiwon suddenly had a smirk on his lips. _‘I get it now…’_ He looked at the older properly – flushed face, irritable attitude, pupils dilated. He inwardly smiled as he knew the signs all too well. He finally understood why Jinhwan was being cranky today. Seems like this session will be a short one, he thought. **“Basically our sex life is… was great Doc. we’ve never had a problem with it.”**

**“I see. So the problem is not in your sex life. That's good.”**

**“Can I go?”** Jinhwan asked and when he heard Doctor’s affirmation, he quickly bolted for the door whilst Jiwon kept shaking his head.

Doctor watched as Jinhwan quickly vanished from her office. She turned to Jiwon who had an amused smile on his face. **“Did I do something wrong?”**

**“No… it's just… his time of the month.”**

**“But… isn't he taking suppressants? That should work!”**

Jiwon’s smile widened. **“It should but.... It doesn’t work with me though. To put it simply, his hormones react differently to me.”**

* * *

Jinhwan went home feeling utterly disgusted. **“Fucking hormones…”** He can't shake Jiwon’s cocky face earlier and it bothered him to no end. It's been years since he felt like this and of all days, it had to be today. **“That stupid smirk… and that tongue-... STOP IT KIM JINHWAN!”**

He turned on his Spotify and out on some music. He needs to think about something else. As a smooth beat came on, he sank his body into the chair and closed his eyes. 

_And I know, I can tell you anything_

_You won't judge, you're just listening_

_'Cause you're the best thing that ever happened to me_

_'Cause my darling, you and I could take over the world_

_And one step at a time, just you and I (just you and I)_

_'Cause you're the only one, who brings light just like the sun_

_One step at a time, just you and I (just you and I)_

**“Jiwon.”** As soon as Jiwon’s name escaped his lips. He gasped and his eyes opened wide. He didn't realize that as he was so engrossed listening to the song, his hands unconsciously roamed over his body. “FUCK!” He bit his lip as the sudden realization that while he was imagining Jiwon’s hands on his body, he became hard. 

His fingers played with his bottom lip before grabbing his jacket and heading out. 

**“Fucking song. Fucking hormones. Fucking Jiwon.”**

* * *

Jiwon stretched his neck to the side as he just finished working on a song. He glanced at the clock that read 8pm and decided to go change to something comfortable. He dragged his feet towards his room. As soon as he found a loose shirt, he took the one he was wearing, discarding it on the floor. 

**“You didn't change the locks.”**

The younger suddenly became stiff as he slowly turned to the owner of the voice. There stood a panting Jinhwan on his doorway. He stood frozen, shirtless, as the older placed his keys on the table near the door. A smile slowly formed his lips as he watched Jinhwan step inside and closed the door. **“There’s no reason for me to change the locks.”**

 **“Cute underwear.”** Jinhwan gestured to the purple boxers the younger had on. He took a few more steps until he was only a foot away from Jiwon. **“For the record, I’m sober.”**

 **“And you're in heat.”** Jiwon’s gaze turned into savage ones as he looked at the older over.

 **“Shut up!”** Jinhwan discarded his jacket before roughly pulling Jiwon’s neck towards him - his tongue already seeking the younger’s. 

Jiwon’s instinctively wrapped his arms around Jinhwan's waist, pulling him closer as his tongue eagerly met the older’s. Jinhwan momentarily broke the kiss to discard his shirt before jumping and wrapping his legs on Jiwon’s waist, kissing him again, igniting his desires even further. The younger groped Jinhwan's thigh hard and he winced into the kiss as his back was slammed against the wall. Jiwon pulled away and started kissing the older’s neck, sucking hard on a sensitive part until his skin turned purple. 

He moaned but suddenly gasped and covered his mouth. **“Aunty…”**

Jiwon bit Jinhwan’s lower lip and pulled gently. He leaned forward, dragging his tongue on the outline of the older’s ear before whispering, **“They're not here, luv. So moan loudly for me… I always want to hear you begging for more.”**

The younger’s voice sent shivers down Jinhwan's spine. This was unfair. He refused to be the one begging. He grabbed a fistful of hair on Jiwon’s nape and tugged at it hard. He ran his tongue slowly on the younger’s neck before nibbling on Jiwon’s chin. **“We’ll just have to see if you can really make me moan loudly.”**

Jiwon’s gaze turned dark and he carried Jinhwan towards the bed, dumping him rather roughly. He stood smirking over the older and ran a hand on his hair, flexing those delicious biceps that Jinhwan was currently staring at. **“Seems like you need some refreshing of how… rough I can get.”** His hands gripped the twitching erection he had inside his pants and licked his lips. **“If you want it so much, why don't you come over here and suck my cock?”**

Jinhwan’s own cock twitched at Jiwon’s words. As much as he loves dominating the bedroom, he readily found himself submitting when the younger exerts his dominance. He gulped as his shaky hand reached out towards the younger’s bulge and gasped when Jiwon grabbed his hand, pressing his arousal firmly against the older’s hand, earning deep groan making Jinhwan hornier. 

The older started undoing Jiwon’s trousers and pulling it down mid-thigh. The younger’s erection sprang forward, veins visible and about ready to burst. Jinhwan unconsciously licked his lips as his body quivered in anticipation. He reached out and touched the tip where the magic cross piercing he got in college remained. He looked up and his breath hitched as Jiwon was sexily looking down at him. 

**“Well? Aren’t you gonna suck me?”** The younger said in his gruff, aroused voice as the image of Jinhwan on his knees, sucking him with that ridiculously savory tongue flashed. Oh how many nights has he woke up with an erection dreaming about this. It was exhilarating to know that he still had the same effect as back then. 

Jinhwan gathered a bit of his saliva before darting out his tongue to have a taste. Jiwon flinched at the sudden wetness but soon gritted his teeth as Jinhwan's tongue swirled around the tip of his already sensitive cock. He hissed as Jinhwan’s tiny hand wrapped around his shaft and the older’s tongue drew circles on the small area where his shaft and balls meet. 

As Jinhwan's hand started moving up and down on Jiwon’s throbbing shaft, he smirked as he felt the subtle movement of the younger’s hip - grinding his hips on Jinhwan's hand. He gathered more of his saliva before running his tongue along the younger’s erection and sucking on the tip, long and hard.

 **“Fuck! You’re going to pay for that!”** Jiwon’s hissed again as he pulled Jinhwan away from his cock and fumbled for the older’s pants, almost tearing it, as he dumped them on the floor. He discarded his own before commanding Jinhwan to lay on the bed. 

Jinhwan immediately did as he was told, gasping loudly when Jiwon turned him to the side. He watched as the younger placed some lube on his hand and positioned himself near Jinhwan’s legs. He could only grip the sheets hard as Jiwon spread his ass cheeks and inserted two fingers inside, spreading it horizontally to a V; stretching the older’s hole. 

Jiwon smirked seeing Jinhwan's pained expression. He then spread his fingers vertically and soon his fingers were moving in scissors motion. Jinhwan clenched his eyes and his face distorted from pleasure. It’s been a while since he’s felt this way – way too long. Jiwon then pulled his hand out much to the older’s dismay but he only smirked when he pushed Jinhwan further into the bed to make room for his large build. He lifted one of the older’s leg and held it up, slowly kissing the smooth skin. 

The older’s thoughts turned hazy but he can't help but feel that this position is familiar. “ **Jiwon… wait.. Let me breathe. Ji-”** His protest, however, was ignored and a sharp loud cry echoed in the room. Jiwon grunted as he looked down on his buried cock on Jinhwan's ass. He penetrated the older in one swift thrust. 

Jinhwan's eyes teared up as he felt his insides stretch to accommodate Jiwon’s size. He gripped the sheets hard and as he inhaled short breaths. **“Jiwon…”** The older whimpered but when he felt Jiwon pulling back, he grabbed the youngers arm only to gasp as he felt Jiwon roughly ram his cock inside, the metal piercing grazing his insides roughly, the younger grinding his hips deeper inside. **“Jiwon… please….”**

 **“Ooh.. Look who's begging now.”** Jiwon pulled back until only his tip remained before thrusting it again inside. **“Tell me…”** He pulls out again. **“does”** _THRUSTS_. **“Junhoe”** Pulls out. **“make you”** _THRUSTS_. **“feel”** Pulls Out. **“this way?”** _THRUSTS_. Every thrusts Jiwon made send shivers down the older's spine.

 **“Ahh.. please… no more…”** Jinhwan bit his lip, stifling his cry. The younger leaned forward making Jinhwan arch his back as he felt Jiwon’s twitching cock even deeper inside his hole. **“Oh God….”**

Jiwon hovered over Jinhwan, a slight jealousy emanating from his body as the older didn't answer the question. **“Answer me.”**

 **“NO! You're…. the only one! Please ....”** Jinhwan begged as his body felt weak, his head falling to the side. 

**“Please, what? C’mon tell me, luv…”** Jiwon started caressing the older’s leg which only ignited Jinhwan’s heat again. When he saw the older restrained himself from moaning with eyes closed, Jiwon turned Jinhwan to face him. **“Look at me, Jinhwan…”**

Jinhwan's eyes opened at the sound of his name. He slowly blinked as Jiwon’s face became clear. He searched the younger’s face before his hand reached out and ran a hand on Jiwon’s sweaty hair. He bit his lip before pulling Jiwon for a steamy kiss. A string of saliva connected their lips as Jinhwan pulled away. **“Fuck me like you used to. Make me cum, Jiwon... please.”**

The younger felt like a shock rushed to his cock as it grew even bigger inside Jinhwans ass at the sound of his name.

####  _Jiwon_.

He loved hearing it from the older's lips. **“As you wish.”** Jiwon's pulled his body away and dangled Jinhwan's leg on his shoulder, his hands moving to grip the older’s waist. Without giving Jinhwan time to think, he thrusts inside the older’s hole with much force that knocked the air out of Jinhwan's chest. 

**“OH FUCK YES! JIWON, AAAHH!”** Jinhwan moaned loudly, his body quivering from ecstasy. This was the kind of sex he loves. This was the kind of sex he wants - the kind only Jiwon could give. He glanced back and a warm sensation pooled at his pelvis area when he saw Jiwon staring at him, his eyes also making love to Jinhwan’s body; watching the older come undone by his fucking. 

This time the older held Jiwon’s gaze and his hand reached out to grasp those muscled arms that strongly gripped him. His body shook at the continuous rough thrusting, the younger just pushing deeper and deeper. Jinhwan's nails started digging on Jiwon’s arms and the latter knew he was close. In fact he, too, couldn't hold on much longer. He grabbed Jinhwan's glistening cock and stroked it fast, moving his hand up and down as his thrusting became faster and rugged; Jinhwan's insides sucking his cock like a hungry beast with an insatiable hunger. 

**“Jiwon!!! I'M CUMMING… OH GOD! JIWON!”** Jinhwan’s insides tightened as his body convulsed from the long awaited release. 

Jiwon loudly groaned as his cock gave out with one last thrust, spilling his cum inside the older’s hole. He pulled out and collapsed on Jinhwan’s side, panting for breath. 

The older’s body went limp as beads of sweat trickled down all over his body and Jiwon’s cum overflowing on his hole. And just as he released a satisfied sigh, he felt Jiwon move and shift his weight so that he was now towering over the older’s body. 

Jiwon leaned in for a kiss, enjoying the small moans Jinhwan was humming. The younger ran his tongue on Jinhwan’s lower lip before a smirk appeared on his handsome face. **“You know one round isn't enough, right?”**

Jinhwan gulped as his aroused eyes looked down at Jiwon’s hard cock pressing against his belly. His mind may have forgotten but his body would always remember Jiwon. He shifted his legs so that it was now spread wide. He gasped as, ever so slowly, he felt Jiwon’s pulsating cock penetrate him again. 

**“Yes… not enough.”** T’was Jinhwan’s last words before he wrapped his legs around the younger’s waist, his shaky lips waiting to be devoured intensely by Jiwon’s demanding ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom Walker [Just You and I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qig_yQA7s3w)


	5. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

####  **“KIM JIWON!”**

Jiwon winced at his mother’s voice. He grabbed his phone and checked the time: 8:00am. He grunted and buried himself under the covers. **“Too early, Ma.”**

 **“Ya! Jiwon! We left a few days ago and you still haven't cleaned up the kitchen?”** Mrs. Kim stood on Jiwon’s doorway with hands on her hips. She looked around and exhaled heavily when she saw clothes on the floor. “ **Ya! You can't even pick up your clothes? And really? You have to bring someone home?? You’ve been a mess ever since you got divorced and now you’re doing this?”**

Mrs. Kim huffed as she picked Jiwon’s clothes one by one. Jiwon sighed and poked his head from the covers. **“Ma, can you give me a minute?”**

 **“No! Seriously! Um excuse me Miss… its morning already! I believe your mother is looking for you. Time to get up.”** Mrs. Kim patted the mound next to Jiwon.

Jiwon scratched his head and gave his mom the most innocent smile. **“Ma. Please. I need a minute.”**

**“Why? I won’t allow some person to sleep in our house for your sexual pleasure… unless of course it's Jinani. He’s the only person allowed.”**

**“So, it’s okay if it's Jinhwan? Then it's your lucky day Ma. OW!”** Jiwon grunted in pain but he was really chuckling. 

Mrs. Kim’s eyes widened. **“What?”**

 **“Hi… Aunty…”** Jinhwan’s small head slowly emerged from the covers, face red from embarrassment.

Mrs. Kim gasped with her mouth hanging open. She dropped the clothes she was carrying and tried to look elsewhere. **“I.. um… Your dad and I are just going to go. Good-... good morning, Nani.”**

Jiwon was shaking his head as he watched his mother scurry away with ears turning pink. He looked to his side to see a glaring Jinhwan beside him. **“What?”**

**“Did you really have to do that?”**

**“She wouldn't have stopped if I didn’t. How are you feeling?”** Jiwon peered at the hickeys on Jinhwan’s body. The older quickly yanked the covers closer to him, leaving Jiwon stark naked on the side. The younger scoffed and stood up, stretching his chest and neck. **“It’s not like I haven't seen your body before.”**

The older’s cheeks turned pink as the sight. Jiwon’s erect cock distracting him from his thoughts. He flinched when the younger suddenly kneeled beside him. **“What-... what are you doing?”**

 **“Checking up on you. Is your body okay?”** Jiwon gave Jinhwan a small smile. When Jinhwan avoided his eyes, he looked down at his cock and chuckled. **“Don’t worry, luv. It’s nothing a cold shower can't fix. C’mon I’ll cook us some breakfast.”** He leaned forward and planted a kiss on the older’s forehead. 

Jinhwan watched as Jiwon put on pants before strutting to the kitchen. He felt relieved that Jiwon didn’t want to have sex but at the same time… disappointed? **“Fuck!”** He exclaimed as Junhoe’s face flashed. He bit his lip as the guilt started clawing its way up his stomach. 

He admits that what happened last night was because of his own recklessness but he’s not going to deny it felt good - really, really good. He touched the area where the younger kissed and bit his lip. **“What am I doing?”**

* * * * *

Jinhwan shyly made his way to the kitchen where Jiwon was cooking breakfast. He emitted a small cough which made the younger turn, smiling as he saw Jinhwan fully clothed. **“Um…”**

 **“Have some breakfast first**.” Jiwon bought two plates with toast, spam and scrambled eggs and placed it on the table. He motioned for Jinhwan to sit as he flopped down on the chair across. **“By the way… is… were-... are you going to be okay?”**

The older tilted his head to the side. **“What do you mean?”**

**“I came inside you last night.”**

Really… trust Jiwon to be honest with Jinhwan. The question though broke the awkward tension as Jinhwan rolled his eyes, taking a seat. **“You think I didn’t take birth control pills when I came here? I’m not stupid, Bob. I remember how we…. have sex besides you cant wear a condom with your... piercing."** He blushed and rubbed his temples. **"God... what must Aunty think of me now...”**

The comment made Jiwon smile as he munched on his toast. **“Should I thank your horny hormones for last night?”**

 **“Shut up and eat your food.”** Jinhwan ignored Jiwon but he couldn't help a small smile forming on his lips. As he was about to eat his share, his phone suddenly rang, making him jump from his seat. The older’s smile fell as he stared at the caller: _Junhoe_. 

Jinhwan hesitantly looked up to a smiling Jiwon before excusing himself, taking the call a bit far from the kitchen but not far enough for Jiwon not to hear. **“Hey, Babe… Oh, so you're arriving today?... Uh, yeah I just woke up…”**

He quickly looked at Jiwon, who threw his toast on his plate and was now scowling. Jinhwan turned to look out the window as his heart started beating fast. **“Yeah see you later… Okay bye!”** The older pocketed his phone and blew air as he went back to the kitchen. He was about to sit when he noticed Jiwon putting his plate on the sink. **“Sorry… I had to take a call.”**

 **“You should go. Consider last night a done deal and as promised, I will keep my end of the bargain.”** Jiwon gritted his teeth as he said this. As soon as he heard Junhoe’s voice on the other line, his insides burned with jealousy. Who was he kidding? Jinhwan didn't care about him. Last night only happened because of the damn deal he made. 

Jinhwan stared at the younger in disbelief. _‘Wow… just wow.’_ He angrily thought as he began shaking his head. **“I see. What was I hoping for, right? I'm giving back the keys. I did my part of the deal. Thanks for the fuck, asshole.”** He thrashed the house keys at Jiwon’s back and left. 

The younger flinched as he moved his shoulders, warm liquid trickling down his back. He cursed as he picked up the keys, holding it up and staring at the Piglet key chain that was attached to it. What good is there in hoping when it's going to end anyway?

* * *

Jinhwan was thankful Junhoe wasn't there when he reached their apartment. He quickly discarded his clothes, putting them in the washer, and immediately went to shower. He scrubbed his skin until it turned red - until all traces of Jiwon were gone. 

But he couldn't erase them all. He silently cursed as he looked at the purple hickeys he had all over his body. “ **That asshole…”** He sighed at the thought of how he was going to have to wear turtlenecks in the summer to cover them up.

Just as he finished dressing, his phone rang again. **“Hi! Did you just arrive?”**

 ** _“Yeah.. Man it’s so hot this time of the year.”_** Junhoe languidly replied.

**“I know, right? I can't wait for you to be home, Baby! I hope everything went well with New York.”**

Junhoe grunted and the older had to smile as he imagined his tall, handsome boyfriend’s face. **“Listen… I’m going to be a bit busy the coming days so how about we go on a lunch date? I’m sorry I missed our Anniversary dinner. It’s just a lot has been coming up…”**

**“It’s okay, Babe. I know you’re busy. I’m sorry too… I should have checked in with you.”**

**“You're the best, Baby! So, lunch date?”**

**“You mean it??? A lunch date??? YES!”** Jinhwan bit his lip as he heard a small chuckle on the other end. 

**“Meet you at the cafe near our apartment.”** Junhoe replied before hanging up.

Jinhwan squealed as his spirits were lifted. He looked at the mirror one last time and smiled with renewed determination. Now he doesn’t have to worry about that stupid deal.

* * * * *

**“The bank called me today inquiring about our assets.”** Junhoe said as he momentarily looked up from his phone to ask the waitress for more milk.

Jinhwan blinked a few times before swallowing the cake he ate. **"Oh."**

 **"How's this couple therapy of yours going?"** Junhoe went back to fiddling with his phone, oblivious to the fact that the question made Jinhwan tensed. 

Jinhwan unconsciously touched the collar of his turtleneck where a few hickeys took residence, suddenly remembering the events of last night - a wretched feeling already poking at his gut. **"Uh… it's-... it's still ongoing."**

 **“Can’t you just pay the therapist or counselor, or whatever you call her, to speed things up? Time is of the essence, Babe. You know I can’t claim anything unless it’s conjugal.”** The younger casually replied, still busy tinkering with his phone.

**“It doesn't work like that, Baby. We can't just pay everyone for everything.”**

Junhoe’s fingers stilled and he looked up from his phone, this time looking straight at Jinhwan. **“Are you even trying?”**

For the second time that day he was caught off guard. **“What does that supposed to mean? Of course I am trying!”**

Junhoe leaned back in his chair and squinted his eyes, doubt etched in his eyes. **“It seems to me like you want to get back with your ex seeing as you're diligently cooperating with this therapy.”**

 **“I am trying, Jun-e! If I could get this therapy done quickly then I already would have done it! I filed for divorce didn't I?”** Jinhwan’s tone laced with frustration. **‘** _Why is this happening?’_

**“Yeah and how long did it take to get his damn signature? Did you even insist on it? Or were you just simply waiting as you open your legs for me?”**

The older gasped at the accusation. **“Wh-what?? Jun-e, how could you say that? I am trying here! What else could I do?? That's unfair.”**

 **“You know what's unfair? Making me wait as the banks keep calling! This is stupid.”** Junhoe ran his tongue on the insides of his cheek as he shook his head in disapproval. He pocketed his phone and stood up.

Jinhwan suddenly panicked. **“Hey… where are you going? I thought we were on a date??”**

**“Yeah well I'm not in the mood anymore.”** Junhoe dumped money on the table with an irritated look. **“When you decide to take our relationship seriously, then we’ll talk. I don’t need this right now.”** He left the cafe, not turning back once. 

Jinhwan’s brows knit at the center. He blinked as he continued to stare at the empty chair across from him. He didn’t understand Junhoe’s words at all. He left the café in hopes to catch Junhoe but the younger already left.

He felt like a lost child walking on the streets, searching for signs or anything that would help him understand. His feet unknowingly dragged him to the park where him and Junhoe used to have dates - when they used to be happy and carefree.

Jinhwan breathed in deeply and looked up to the sky. And with the wind as his only companion for his unsettling heart, he closed his eyes and sang,

_Hesitation, awkward conversation_

_Running on low expectation_

_Every siren that I was ignoring_

_I'm payin' for it_

_Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap_

_Loving you will still take shots at me_

_Found loving you was sunshine, but then it poured_

_And I lost so much more than my senses_

_'Cause loving you had consequences_

_Loving you_

Jinhwan inhaled a sharp breath as he shakily tried to keep his balance. He kept thinking why is this all happening to him. All he wanted was just to be happy but why does he feel that the harder he tries, the more he feels it'll never be enough?

As if it wasn't stifling enough, on this sunny day, he suddenly felt droplets of water on his face. Soon he found himself drenched under the pouring rain. But instead of taking shelter, he just stood there, letting the crying sky mask his own tears. He stood there desperately searching through his memories and thinking where it all went wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom Walters Cover [ Consequences](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWIObLpVows)


	6. Happier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

**“Shall we get right into it then?”** Doctor announced as soon as she entered the room. She looked at the couple over and sighed. Jinhwan sat closely at one side of the couch, with bags under his eyes, while Jiwon sat casually somewhere in the middle, his eyes glued to the window. 

She had hoped that the past two sessions have helped them, if not a lot then just a little, but looking at them now makes her think otherwise.

**“You look like death, Jinhwan. Is everything okay?”** If the Doctor wanted honesty from the both of them, then she would have to be honest with her words as well. Jiwon glanced in the older’s direction with worry in his eyes.

Jinhwan weakly gave a nod at the Doctor. **“I’m not having the best week, Doc. I’m fine though or I’ll be fine, whichever comes first. Don't mind me.”**

**“We can do this some other time?”** Jiwon suggested but the older just waved a hand in dismissal. 

**“Now or some other time, it won't matter. It's not as if it’ll change anything. We should probably get on with the session.”** Jinhwan sank further into the couch, making him look like a deflated balloon.

For a split second the Doctor thought of changing the topic for today but what Jinhwan said made sense - it’s not as if things will change if she changed it. So she went ahead and sat down and pressed the record button, signaling that the session is about to start. **“So… let’s talk about your divorce.”**

They both stiffened. 

Reality slapped them hard and Jiwon was bitterly reminded what started it all. _‘But the sooner, the better.’_ He thought.

Just two sessions in and Jiwon was beginning to understand just how important honesty was in these sessions, as what the Doctor ever so stressed from the beginning. If he wants answers, he’ll just outright ask the questions. **“Why did you file for divorce?”**

Jinhwan opened and closed his mouth before emitting a sigh. **“Weren’t we going there in the long run?”**

**“I never wanted divorce.”** Jiwon replied, making the older’s brows knit in the center. **“I mean… I just…. Never thought we’d go down that road. We may have fought a lot but I never thought of separating.”**

Jinhwan’s words got stuck in his throat. He could only stare at Jiwon, unsure of what to do. 

**“I've-... I’m sorry. I can't imagine what you were going through at that time. I've always wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”**

**“Bob… if you-… if you didn’t want divorce, why did you sign the papers?”** Jinhwan questioned, now more confused than ever.

Jiwon gave the older a sad smile. **“Because I felt like I was the only one fighting the battle. You seem like you’ve moved on and I was only holding you back. Truth is I didn’t sign it as first because I thought we were just going through a phase. I thought that if i didn't sign, you’d come see me so we could have a proper talk. I thought that if I... didn't change the locks, I’d come home and see you there, waiting for me. I just never thought of the possibility that we were done, that you were done with me, until...”**

The younger paused and exhaled a deep breath. Both the doctor and Jinhwan waited anxiously - afraid of disrupting the deafening silence of the room. Jiwon restlessly sighed before he continued, his voice becoming brittle with every hang heavy in the air.

**“Until I saw you with Junhoe at the cafe. And then I realized that maybe it was just me being delusional that you and I were forever. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to years but there was still no sign of you. You never came back so... I gave up.”**

**“Bobby… I-”**

Jiwon had a doleful look on him as he looked at Jinhwan. **“You don't have to say anything. It was time to let you go. With that, at least one of us is happy.”**

**“It’s-... Why-... I don’t-...”** Jinhwan stuttered as he tried to think about what to say.

The younger gave Jinhwan the best smile he could muster, his bunny tooth showing. **“I wanted to give you the world but I failed you as a husband.”** Saying it all out loud was so much harder than he thought. He felt suffocated just sitting there, being watched with pitiful eyes. _‘I can’t do this.’_

Jiwon then turned to the doctor. **“I’m sorry I know we just started but this is a bit depressing for me. If it’s okay with you..?”**

She got so entranced by Jiwon’s raw honesty that the doctor could only nod. She didn't even trust her voice to speak as she felt, in a few rare therapy sessions, that she was an outsider. She did not expect this at all. 

Jinhwan stared at the doctor helplessly. **“Doc, what just happened?”**

**“I think… that was a man who just bared his heart out. Question now is, what are you going to do?”**

* * *

Jinhwan decided to go with Jun-e together with the other executives from their company to a pub near their office. They still weren't okay and he still wasn’t sure where their relationship was heading to but tonight he wanted a drink.

**“Testing 1,2…”**

Jinhwan’s whole body became tense as he recognized the voice. He looked to his side and felt relieved that Jun-e was halfway drunk to even notice that there was a performer on stage. _‘What’s he doing here?’_ the older thought as his body unconsciously leaned forward on the railing that encased their booth.

Jiwon bowed to the small audience that pooled in front of him and he nervously smiled. **“He-hey guys! Just to introduce myself… my name is-”**

**“BOBBY!”** Someone from the crowd shouted which earned a few laughs. 

Jiwon sheepishly grinned and waved to whoever it was that shouted his name. **“My name is Bobby and um I’m going to perform something that I've been working on for a while. So… yeah.”**

He strummed his fingers on his guitar as a test and when he was satisfied, he signaled for the lights to be dimmed. A silhouette of a familiar man sat on the piano behind Jiwon and Jinhwan gasp when he recognized it to be Donghyuk. The soft strumming began and the audience quieted down.

_Walking down 29th and Park_

_I saw you in another's arms_

_Only months we've been apart_

_You look happier_

The crowd went _‘ooooh’_ as he finished the first verse and Jiwon placed a finger on his lips to tell them to just listen. Donghyuk then started playing the piano,

_Saw you walk inside a bar_

_He said something to make you laugh_

_I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours_

_Yeah, you look happier, you do_

_Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_

_But ain't nobody love you like I do_

_Promise that I will not take it personal, baby_

_If you're moving on with someone new_

_'Cause baby you look happier, you do_

_My friends told me one day I'll feel it too_

_And until then I'll smile to hide the truth_

_But I know I was happier with you_

Jiwon clenched the mic tightly and closed his eyes, his face turning grim. The memorized lyrics flowed smoothly from his lips as he sang with everything he got.

_Sat on the corner of the room_

_Everything's reminding me of you_

_Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier_

_Aren't you?_

_Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_

_But ain't nobody need you like I do_

_I know that there's others that deserve you_

_But my darling, I am still in love with you_

Jinhwan softly gasped at the last line of the verse - every word like an arrow being shot at his heart. He began recalling everything Jiwon had said at their therapy session today. 

> #####  _‘I never wanted to divorce’_
> 
> #####  _‘I was the only one fighting the battle’_
> 
> #####  _‘ **You never came back so... I gave up'**_

The words felt like chains weighing him down. Guilt? Pity? He doesn't know anymore. How is it that he never noticed? He had questions that kept popping one after the other but as he watched Jiwon sing, he knew the answer - deep down he knew. Jinhwan was so wrapped in his own world that he forgot… rather he simply stopped caring of what was right in front of him.

_But I guess you look happier, you do_

_My friends told me one day I'd feel it too_

_I could try to smile to hide the truth_

_I know I was happier with you_

_Baby, you look happier, you do_

_I knew one day you'd fall for someone new_

_But if he breaks your heart like lovers do_

_Just know that I'll be waiting here for you_

Tears were flowing from Jinhwan’s eyes as the song came to an end. He was shaken out of his reverie when Jun-e tapped his shoulder to ask what was wrong. He quickly wiped away the tears he didn't even notice that fell. **“Oh, it's nothing! The artist sang beautifully… that's all.”**

Jun-e looked at the empty stage and shook his head. **“You’re crazy! C’mon let's drink some more!”**

* * *

Jiwon exited the stage as he was heaving deeply. It’s been a while since he’s last been on stage and he was amazed he finished the song. 

He quickly locked himself inside the small dressing room, despite the encouraging pats on the back he got. His body shook violently as he continuously blew air, trying to get his bearings together. **“Oh god… please.”** A futile plea as his heart started squeezing becoming an unbearable pain, the image of Jinhwan laughing lovingly at Junhoe persisted in his head.

Jiwon’s legs gave out and he sank to the floor, all his strength leaving him. A sob escaped his lips and he quickly curled his finger and bit hard on it. He tried stopping the tears that gathered on his eyes but the more he tried, the tighter his chest became until he found himself choking for air - until all he could do is hug his knees tight, weeping for the love that once was his.

The walls vibrated from the music that boomed outside the pub but all Donghyuk could hear was Jiwon’s heart-wrenching sobs from outside the dressing room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> José Audisio (Cover) [Happier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDkgkr7cSK4)


	7. Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

**“Chanuuuuuu-yyaaaaaa! Jung Chanuuuu-yaaaaa!”** Jinhwan draped his arm over the taller and pinched the latter’s cheeks. 

**“Hyung! OW! It’s time we go home now! You’re drunk!”**

**“Mmmm... NO! One more** _*hic*_ **round, waiter! And burrrring me tuwoo shats!!! Wooohooo!!** '' Jinhwan slurred as he started waving his hands in the air.

Chanwoo ducked under his hands, embarrassed at Jinhwan. He quietly asked the bartender for their bill and paid him in secret. He looked at his side where the older was drinking the whiskey like it was water and had to shake his head. 

It surprised him that Jinhwan has been asking him to go drinking for three straight days now. He grunted as he remembered Jaewon jokingly calling him a babysitter yesterday and although this was all very frustrating, he was glad it was him. Despite the older’s mood swings, he was grateful for Jinhwan for taking him under his wing. He’d protect the guy given any chance… but he might go crazy if this keeps up.

 **"You know... he'sh sho strongggg,** _*hic*_ **shooo manly!! Also veryyy warrmmm and curddlyy bearr..."** Jinhwan squinted as he stirred his drink. 

Chanwoo made a face. **"Junhoe? Cuddly? PFFT!"**

Jinhwan frowned. **"Junnhoe? NO!! I'm taw-king bowtt BOBBY! My..** _*hic*_ **Jiwonieeee! And the wayyy he fucks-"** The older looked at the hand that was covering his mouth, making him go cross-eyed.

 **“Okay, that's enough. Time to go home, Hyung!”** The youngest forcibly grabbed Jinhwan’s arm and dragged him away from the bar, hoping that they'd arrived in the apartment in one piece.

Angry Jinhwan he can handle, Drunk Jinhwan? Chanwoo feigned cry as he silently prayed for someone to rescue him.

* * *

_RING! RING!_

**“Um... Hello??**

**“Jinhwan?”**

**“Err no. Is this Mr. Kim Jiwon?... Wait Hyung I’m on the phone… Wait… Ah sorry! My name is Jung Chanwoo, Jinhwan's assistant producer…”**

**“Chanuuuu-yaaaaaa… Let's** _*hic*_ **drinkkkk! Shots, shots, shots!!”** Jinhwan’s high-pitched voice could be heard from the background.

Chanwoo struggled to keep Jinhwan at arm’s length while his other hand was on the phone. **“See… I don't know what to do now and he kept asking me to call you so... Ya, Hyung!! Stop… kissing me!!”**

 **“Where are you?”** Came the gritted reply of the older.

**“I’ll text you the address, Sir… Hyung, stop it!”**

* * *

Jiwon rang the doorbell as soon as he got to apartment 7B. He heard a few crashes and grunts before the door opened to reveal Chanwoo looking so fed up. **“Chanwoo?”**

**“Yes! Mr. Jiwon...-hyung?”**

**“Bobby is fine. Where’s-”**

**“Chanuuuu-yyaaaa.. Letttt meeee givee you a kishhh!”** Jinhwan jumped on Chanwoo from behind and took the latter’s face into his hands and pressed his lips against the younger's cheeks. 

Chanwoo let out a resigned sigh as he let the older do what he wanted. Upon remembering Jiwon though, he froze. He turned to look at Jiwon, who had his hands inside the pocket of his hoodie. **“I swear. He’s just my senior. Please don’t hurt me.”**

 **“Jinhwan.”** Jiwon calmly called out, making the older look.

 **"Jiwonniiieee!!!"** Jinhwan wrapped his arms around Jiwon's neck before firmly planting a wet kiss on the younger’s lips. When the older pulled away, Jiwon remained frozen. **"I missed youuuu** _*hic*_ **sooooo mushhhh!"**

Conflict flashed in Jiwon's eyes as Jinhwan cuddled his face on his neck. He continued to furiously blink as he locked eyes with Chanwoo, who held up both his hands with an amused smile on the latter’s lips. When Jinhwan wasn't letting go, Jiwon had to sigh and carried him bridal style, nodding to Chanwoo who opened the door wide. **“Alright, alright. Let’s go in.”**

Jiwon placed Jinhwan on the bed and not a second later, he found himself being forcefully sat down with a hyper Jinhwan playing with his hood.

 **“Sorry. I didn't know who else to call.”** Jiwon’s brows knit at the center and Chanwoo sighed, sensing the older’s hesitation. **“What I mean is I’m glad it was you I called because there is no way in hell I’d call Junhoe.”** This time Jiwon’s brow raised, silently questioning him _‘why the hell not?’_ and the youngest scrunched his nose in disgust before clarifying more, **“I don't like the guy. He doesn't treat Jinani-Hyung right. I mean really… who forgets their Anniversary? Oh shit! Did I just-... did I just have a conversation with your facial expressions? Wow I'm so awesome. I can be a professional facial expressionist reader!”**

 **“It’s fine. I'm sure you'll do great in that career.”** Jiwon amusingly shook his head at Chanwoo. Right now he’s just glad to know that Jinhwan has someone watching out for him, never mind all the other things. He looked around at the unfamiliar two bedroom apartment whilst keeping Jinhwan’s hands to himself, trying anyway. **“Is this your place?”**

Chanwoo furiously shook his head. **“It's Jinani-Hyung’s. He got it sometime last year… saying that he needed a place where he could be alone. We make some of our music here too but… nothing ever gets approved by management.”**

 **“How so?”** Jiwon looked to his side where Jinhwan was cutely playing with the strings of his hood.

 **"Junhoe always says it’s not good enough... like he knows shit. Stupid. Asshole."** Chanwoo took deep breaths in and out to calm himself down. **"Anyway, Is he usually like this?"** He inquired as he watched Jinhwan giggled at his own antics.

Jiwon was trying his best to have a proper conversation with the youngest but he couldn't help but get distracted by Jinhwan poking his ear. **“He gets touchy-feely when he's super, super drunk. How many did he drink?”**

**“More like how long. We’ve been going out for three straight days. RIP my liver! He kept saying how he wasn’t happier and how he wished he did things differently. He has also been singing this tune that I haven't even heard of.”**

**“Happierrrr with** _*hic*_ **youuuuuuu…. My Jiwonie sang that songggg, yuuu punk!”** Jinhwan, albeit in a drunken state, managed to throw a pillow on Chanwoo’s face.

Jiwon froze. How did Jinhwan know that song? He only sang it at the pub, unless-... He looked at Jinhwan who was already smiling at him. **“You were there?”**

 **“Mhhmmmm… Beautiful… happiieerrrrr with youuu...”** The older flopped his arm in the air, swaying it to the melody in his head. **“Awlsssooowww… not** _*hic*_ **happii-ur... Sadder… Hahahaha happier with yyyouuuuuu.”**

 **“Stay still or I can't hug you.”** An empty threat but what Jinhwan did next made Jiwon purse his lips. _‘God, just how cute can he get…’_

Jinhwan immediately hugged his arms and stopped squirming, his expectant eyes wide as he puffed his cheeks playfully. When Jiwon patted his chest, Jinhwan squealed again and hugged him quickly, knocking his back flat on the bed.

The youngest coughed and pointed to the door. **“Should I just go?”**

**“No. It’s better if you stay here. I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to see me on a hangover morning.”** Jiwon softly ran his hand on Jinhwan’s hair, who made himself comfortable - closing his eyes and snuggling on Jiwon’s chest.

 **“You sure?”** When Jiwon nodded, Chanwoo scratched his head and sighed. **“Well, I’ll give you some privacy then. I’ll be outside.”**

 **“Hey, kid.”** Jiwon called out. Chanwoo peeked his head on the door, waiting **. “Thanks for looking out for him.”**

With that the youngest, closed the door. Jiwon sighed in resignation. What a predicament he was in - just when he was really and finally decided to let go, something just pulls him right back. **“What should I do with you, Luv?”** He poked Jinhwan’s nose and the latter just purred and snuggled closer.

**“Jiwonie… my warm Jiwonnnn…”**

Was it possible to fall in love all over again with just a name? Because Jiwon is. He wasn't one to believe in destiny and soul mates but with Jinhwan… he doesn't even know where to begin. He ran a finger on the bridge of the older’s nose before slowly shifting their position so that Jiwon was now hugging the older.

 **“You’ll always be the one… always.”** Jiwon whispered softly. He hugged Jinhwan tightly before tenderly singing him a lullaby,

_Something always brings me back to you_

_It never takes too long_

_No matter what I say or do_

_I'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone_

_You hold me without touch_

_You keep me without chains_

_I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love_

_And not feel your reign_

_Set me free, leave me be_

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am, and I stand_

_So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be_

_But you're on to me and all over me_

_Something always brings me back to you_

_It never takes too long_

Jiwon slowly peeled himself from the older and delicately tucked Jinhwan under the covers. He quietly turned but was pulled back by a rough tugging on his hoodie, making him fall on one knee.

Jinhwan’s mewled and his face frowned. **“No…”** he whispered. **“Don’t leave me, Jiwon.”**

Jiwon sadly smiled as he gently pushed the hair away from Jinhwan’s face. **“Oh Piglet… but you're the one leaving me.”** He leaned forward and planted a light kiss on the older’s forehead.

He successfully pried Jinhwan’s hold off him and immediately started for the door, afraid that he'll change his mind. He turned to have one last look before closing the lights and whispering, **“Sweet dreams, Luv.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corvyx (Cover)[Gravity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEJAFpN40qM)


	8. Small Bump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.
> 
> TW : Please be advised that chapter mentions miscarriage and might be uncomfortable for readers. I will also understand if you skip this chapter entirely.

Jinhwan gave Jiwon a small smile when he entered the room. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear as he sat down on the couch. He suddenly felt weird seeing the younger today as not long ago he dreamt that Jiwon tucked him to bed. It felt so surreal that he's suddenly feeling conscious. 

Doctor finally came inside the room, giving no time for Jinhwan to decipher his thoughts, and immediately sat across from the couch. She pressed the record button and faced the couple with a smile. **“So, how are we today?”**

Jinhwan ran a hand up and down his arm and exhaled. **“I didn't think we’d have a session today.”**

**“Oh? Because I asked you about divorce? Unfortunately I think we still haven't touched the cause of all this…”** She waved her hand in a circular motion pertaining to the couple’s marriage. **“Some couples take time to have it all figured out and some just solve it in a snap. For you guys… well we are talking about years of marriage, both together and not, and I'm guessing some issues are just left untouched.”**

**“I see.”** The older replied, missing the longing look Jiwon was giving him.

**“So let’s begin.”** As the couple awkwardly nodded, she continued, **“Today we are going to talk about Family.”**

**“Family… like how?”** Jiwon shifted from where he sat, leaning his elbows on his knees.

**“Your relationship with each other’s family.”** Doctor clarified.

Jinhwan's mouth formed into an O and nodded. **“Well his family loves me. Even his nephew prefers me over him.”**

Jiwon curiously huffed. **“You've seen my nephew?”**

**“Sometimes when they are here? We see each other in the supermarket. Hello, Bob? Which planet do you come from?”** Jinhwan scrunched his nose and looked at Jiwon like he was out of his mind, the joke surprisingly coming out with ease.

**“Ahh... right. That’s true. My family loves you… although your family loves me too! I remember Noona telling me that Mom-... err I mean Mrs. Kim kept wanting to invite me over for dinner.”** Jiwon nodded proudly. 

The doctor mentally noted the light atmosphere in the office now, making her wonder what happened in between their sessions. She continued to listen, afraid to break their playful banter.

Jinhwan scoffed and rolled his eyes. **“In conclusion Doc, our families adore us. We have a great relationship with each other.”**

**“That's good to know. So how about your family?”**

The older tilted his head and his brows knit in confusion. **“Yeah, we get along great.”**

**“I meant yours... Like yours and Jiwon’s? You guys were married for four years. Did you not have thoughts of having a family?”** Doctor sensed that both of them suddenly went rigid. 

**“We did,”** Jiwon hesitated. **"We almost had one.”** He bit his lower lip and sneaked a glanced at the older. He wasn't sure what to say now. It's not like it's a forbidden topic but Jinhwan never really entertained questions relating to it - never wanted to.

Jinhwan released a shaky breath and squared his shoulders. **“I… was pregnant. I carried her for 4 months and then…”** He paused as his eyes glazed with a blank expression. He slowly blinked and his face contorted to that of in pain. **“I had a miscarriage.”**

Doctor pressed her lips together and swallowed the lump in her throat. Losing someone is never easy but losing a baby is like getting stabbed in the chest, and hoping it was a dream only to find yourself experiencing it all over again. **“I’m sorry.”**

Jinhwan bitterly smiled but it never reached his eyes. **“I held the baby in my arms and… she was so tiny. The doctors told me it was due to stress and my body couldn't handle it so my baby suffered.”** By now the older was clenching his hand tightly. **“She suffered… because of me and I question myself everyday if I was careful enough, would she have survived? Would she have grown up to be a beautiful girl?”**

**“Nani, I-”** Jiwon reached out his hand but the older avoided his touch. 

**“Don’t. Doc, I’m sorry.”** Jinhwan gathered his things, leaving quickly without another word. 

Doctor fell silent as she watched Jiwon with careful eyes. 

**“I think… that was the day I started losing him. We had an argument the night before and the next day was supposedly our appointment for the baby but I got stuck in an important meeting that I couldn't get out of.”** Jiwon blew air as he remembered that particular night clearly. “ **I came home with him bleeding on the bathroom floor. We quickly rushed to the hospital but we already lost the baby.”**

**“I’m sorry, Jiwon.”**

And just like that, Jiwon realized something. **“That was the day we fell apart.”**

* * * * *

Jinhwan dragged his feet towards his apartment with bags of groceries on his arm. He wanted some peace tonight but sometimes things don't really go with how one wishes it for because right outside the apartment building sat Jiwon.

He halted and quickly thought of where to hide but the moment he took a step back, Jiwon turned to his direction. The younger immediately stood up and gave Jinhwan a small smile. 

**“Hi. I wanted to… check up on you.”**

Jinhwan sighed. Honestly Jiwon was the last person he wanted to see but something told him that maybe it was time they faced this. **“Hm, guess it wasn't a dream after all.”**

**“What do you mean?”**

**“The only person who knows about my other apartment is Chanwoo and if you’re here… then he must have told you.”** Jinhwan coolly replied and Jiwon scratched the back of his head, giving the older an apologetic smile. The older sighed and moved to stand near Jiwon. **“Wanna come up?”**

**“Is that okay?”** The younger’s eyes grew wide. 

**“Mhm. I think the universe is telling me not to be alone tonight.”**

Jiwon moved to grab the groceries Jinhwan had in his arms. **“Only if I get to cook dinner, Piglet.”**

The older blinked at him before a smile made it to Jinhwan’s lips. **“Don’t let me get in your way, Pooh Bear.”**

* * *

* * *

**_"_ ** **_So… Pooh?”_ ** _Jinhwan was drawing circles on Jiwon’s chest._

**_“Yeah! Wait let me show you.”_ ** _Jiwon stood up from the bed and grabbed a photo on his dresser. **“Look, me and Pooh! I’ve had him since I was small.”**_

**_“You’re so cute!”_ ** _Jinhwan ran a finger on the chubby kid in the picture. **“Hmm… if you like Pooh so much, can I be your Piglet then?”**_

_The question threw the younger off guard. Jiwon bit his lower lip and took the picture from Jinhwan’s hand, shifting their position so that the older was beneath him. **“You can be my Piglet and so much more, Luv. Although our kid will be much cuter.”** He began planting kisses on Jinhwan’s neck. _

_Jinhwan moaned and tilted his neck to the side to give more access to the younger, a giggle escaping his lips. **“Our kid? We aren't even married yet! I don't see a ring on my-”** He lifted his hand but gasped as something shiny caught his eyes. **“Wait…”**_

**_“You were saying?”_ ** _Jiwon lifted a brow with a smirk on his face._

_The older pushed Jiwon’s chest away from his body and started at the orange diamond that was on his finger. **“JIWON! When did you-? Are you serious??”** He still had a shocked look on his face, making Jiwon laugh. _

**_“I’m always serious with you. There’s a chapel here in Vegas. We can do it tomorrow.”_ ** _If Jinhwan thought Jiwon was joking, he thought wrong. The younger was dead serious with his proposal._

_Jinhwan circled his arms around the younger and drew him for a long, deep kiss. **“Okay Pooh Bear… let’s do it tomorrow.”** He further pulled Jiwon towards him as he was gladly met with excited lips. **“I love you, Jiwon. It's forever you and me.”**_

* * *

* * *

As Jiwon was done washing the plates, he sighed as he probably should go. If anyone found out that he was there, it would only cause trouble plus there’s also the fact that Jinhwan was in a relationship. He was getting ready to leave when he found Jinhwan lying on the bed, back flat on the mattress. 

**“Are you leaving?”** Jinhwan asked in a soft voice. 

**“Um… Yeah. Rumors might spread and your boyfriend…”**

Jinhwan was silent for a moment, thinking. **“Will you stay?”**

**“Can I?”** The younger asked. They have unconsciously become more honest with each other with the help of their sessions. 

Jinhwan’s answer was a soft patting on the space beside him on the bed. His body fell into a more relaxed state as the bed sagged with Jiwon’s weight. The younger looking up at the glass ceiling, just like what the older is doing.

**“She’s up there, you know. Our little twinkling star is watching over us.”** Jinhwan held up his hand. 

Jiwon hummed in agreement and both fell silent. **“Jinhwan…”** He hesitated. **“I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”**

Jinhwan shook his head, bringing his outstretched hand down. **“It was my fault too. The doctors weren't remiss in telling me that I had a delicate condition but my stubborn self couldn't keep still.”**

He paused as a small chuckled emitted from his throat. **“And to think we were just arguing over our baby’s name. I should have talked with you properly. I mean I wasn't the only one who lost her, you did too but I blamed it all on you and that was unfair of me. I just felt so lost and helpless... and every time I looked at you, I saw our baby. At that time, I thought if it wasn't you then maybe things will be okay… maybe I will be better.”**

After the miscarriage, Jinhwan became cold and distant. Their daily life became daily arguments which ends up with the older blaming Jiwon for everything. The latter however, became exhausted from the constant fights that he buried himself in his work and mostly came home late at night. It didn’t take long for Jiwon to find himself in an empty house with the divorce papers neatly placed on the dining table.

**“I now realize that I am with Junhoe for the wrong reasons - that I am only with him to fill a void in me… God, I can't believe it took me this long to realize this. I'm just-... I'm really sorry, Jiwon.”**

Jiwon searched for the older’s hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it. **“I’m sorry too, Luv. I should have been there for you during those times. I could have tried harder instead I gave up. What a pair we make huh?”** He felt relieved when he heard the older chuckle. **“I’m just glad we weren’t too late to say all this.”**

They continued to stare at the sky in comfortable silence, earnestly looking at the twinkling stars; feeling elated. Jinhwan then gave Jiwon’s hand a squeeze before turning to the latter. **“Can you sing it for me?”**

**“Sing what?”** the younger inquired.

**“The song you wrote for her.”** Jinhwan swallowed hard trying to mask his shaky breath. **“I accidentally saw it.”**

Jiwon’s gaze remained glued to the older. He remembered crumpling the paper which had his scribbled handwriting of the song he made for their child. It was supposedly a gift for the older when things got better. And he really had hoped things would get better but alas fate had other plans.

**“You don't have to if you don't want to.”** Jinhwan released the grip he had on Jiwon’s hand but the younger just held on to him tighter. 

**“Are you sure?”**

Jinhwan nodded, his eyes welling up. He cuddled next to the younger, his arms hugging Jiwon's.

_You're just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life_

_You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your father’s eyes_

Jiwon paused as he started to feel the weight of his words. Jinhwan, on the other hand, choked on the air he inhaled, gritting his teeth warm tears fell from his eyes. 

_I'll whisper quietly, I'll give you nothing but truth_

_I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth_

_If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you_

By now, Jiwon’s voice started to crack as his jaw shook. He had never sang this song out loud and he had hoped not to but maybe they needed to hear this. Maybe it was time that they properly mourned for their unborn child.

_You are my one and only_

_You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight_

_Oh, you are my one and only_

_You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight_

_And you'll be alright_

A great tremor overtook Jinhwan and his chest clenched like it was being smashed by a bulldozer. His throat tightened and he coughed, taking short intakes of breath. Soon his soft wailing became agonizing ones as he clung to Jiwon, who also had tears flowing on his face.

They unexpectedly found comfort in each other's embrace despite Jiwon's suppressed cries and Jinhwan’s loud sobs. The younger held Jinhwan dearly, kissing the older’s forehead as he constantly whispered, **_‘I’m sorry.’_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ed Sheeran [Small Bump ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_af256mnTE)


	9. If The World Was Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.
> 
> 🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞

Jinhwan woke up when the bed lightly shook. He squinted his eyes and found Jiwon tiptoeing towards the door. **“Jiwon? Are you leaving?”** The older groggily called out.

The younger froze and slowly turned. **“Um… I have to meet Katie by 9.”**

 **“Oh… okay…”** Jinhwan’s brow creased at the mention of Katie’s name but he was too sleepy to care. **“Well you take care…”** His head dropped back on the pillow and he buried himself under the covers.

 **“I can bring us lunch…”** Jiwon proposed but paused, biting his lip. When Jinhwan’s fingers slightly pulled the covers down, the former smiled and knelt beside the bed. **“Would you like that? Ttoppoki and Kimbap?”** Jinhwan slowly nodded and pulled the sheets to shyly cover half of his face. The younger smiled widely and leaned to kiss the older’s forehead. **“Go back to sleep, Luv. I’ll be borrowing your keys, yeah?”**

Jiwon waited until he noticed Jinhwan's even breathing before heading for the door, the smile never leaving his lips.

* * *

Jinhwan came out of the bathroom in an oversized shirt, feeling refreshed. He hasn't felt this relaxed in a long time and the feeling was unfamiliar yet comfortable. The sound of rattling keys made him stop drying his hair and look to the door. He then heaved a sigh as he recognized Jiwon’s form.

**“You came back.”**

Jiwon, clad in a simple tee and shorts, looked up as he closed the door, his breath caught in his throat at the sight of a freshly bathed Jinhwan. He smiled as he held up the plastic bags he bought. **“I promised to bring lunch, didn’t I? I’m sorry I was a bit late. Did you eat already?”** The younger glanced at the clock that read 12:45pm. 

The older smiled widely and shook his head. **“I was waiting for you.”**

Jinhwan's quick reply surprised the younger. He suddenly wasn't sure if he was ready for this - the raw honesty that they both somehow unconsciously fell into. But maybe it was just a fluke? Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. He put the thought at the back of his head and just smiled. **“Well then, lunch is served!”**

Jinhwan came into the kitchen and sat at the small table, waiting for Jiwon to finish placing the dishes on the table. **“All my favorites! You remembered!”**

 **“Of course I do. C’mon lets eat! I'm hungry too!”** Jiwon sat opposite him and ready to eat when he felt the older staring at him. **“Something on my face?”** The genuine smile that Jinhwan gave Jiwon threw him off balance… yet again.

 **“Jiwon, thank you for being there for me last night. And the night I got drunk…”** Jinhwan chuckled. He reached out and squeezed the younger’s hand. **“I’m glad it was you, Pooh bear...”**

The older had retracted his hand before Jiwon could do anything. His eyes softened as he looked at Jinhwan, softly sighing before placing a kimbap on the older’s plate. Fluke or not, what does it matter. What they have right now is more than enough. 

**“You know I’m always here for you, Piglet. That won't ever change… especially when you’re drunk. Man you’re a handful!”** Jiwon quipped, lightening the mood.

Jinhwan threw a rolled napkin in Jiwon’s direction which sent them both into a giggling fit. **“Shut up! I'm a fun drunk!”**

The kitchen was filled with laughter as they continued on with their lunch, reminiscing on their college days. For the very first time, in a long while, they were how they used to be - genuinely happy and having fun.

* * *

**“What are you working at?”** Jiwon came into the bedroom after cleaning up and sat behind the bed where the older sat, his legs spread wide with the latter situated in between his legs.

Jinhwan closed the notebook he had and tucked a hair behind his ear. **“Just some stuff…”**

 **“Show me?”** The younger gently nudged Jinhwan with his shoulder.

The older exhaled and nodded. He opened his notebook which contained scribbles with notes on top of some words and hesitantly hovered his fingers over the musical keyboard before him. He then squared his shoulders before breathing in deep, his fingers meeting the milky white keys. When Jinhwan pressed on the wrong key, he shook his head and nervously shook his wrists to relax. He looked at Jiwon again, who gave him an encouraging smile, before deciding to start over.

_I know you know we know you weren't down for forever and its fine_

_I know you know we know we weren't meant for each other and its fine_

_But if the world was ending_

_You'd come over right_

_You'd come over and you'd stay the night_

_Would you love me for the hell of it?_

_All our fears would be irrelevant_

When Jinhwan started the second verse, he was surprised to hear Jiwon’s deep voice blending with his. He turned and smiled at the younger, who only smiled back. One of the things Jinhwan loves about Jiwon when making music is that he didn't have to tell the latter what to do and most often than not, Jiwon always has the perfect rendition.

_If the world was ending_

_You'd come over right_

_The sky'd be falling while I'd hold you tight_

_No there wouldn't be a reason why_

_We would even have to say goodbye_

_If the world was ending_

_You'd come over right_

_You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over right_

_If the world was ending_

_You'd come over right_

_Right?_

Jinhwan finished and he let out a shaky breath. **“So? What do you think?”** He asked, locking his hands in between his legs. He had a shy smile on his face, nervous for the younger’s feedback. 

Jiwon nodded and proudly smiled at the older. **“Beautiful. That was amazing, Piglet!”**

 **“You think? It's just… I don't know if I make good music anymore. You wouldn't lie to me right?”** His pretty doe eyes blinked, waiting for a hopeful answer.

 **“No. It's amazing… You're amazing.”** Jiwon tilted his head to the side, his insides twisting when he saw Jinhwan’s shy smile widen. He bit his lip at how cute this little human before him was but when the older looked at him in the eye, he felt it - the static electricity that ran down his spine. 

It was Jinhwan’s turn to bite his lip. He failed to notice that Jiwon was very close that it surprised him when he felt the younger’s body heat on his back. No one said a word - as if they were entranced by a tune only they could hear. 

Jiwon didn't even realize that he was staring until Jinhwan bit his lip. He gulped as he wasn't sure what to do next. He wanted to kiss those plump cherry lips that were before him but he also didn't want to destroy what they currently have - not when they just properly reconciled.

Jinhwan, as if being hypnotized, slowly leaned towards Jiwon, licking his lips unconsciously. The younger gulped as he, too, slowly moved to meet the former, his eyes darting to the red tempting lips that were closing in on him. 

When suddenly, a loud ringing made Jinhwan jump - breaking the spell he was just in. Jiwon pulled back, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. The older looked at the person who was calling him, his eyes blinking frantically at the name. He was seriously thinking on what to do when he heard Jiwon mutter, **“Aren’t you going to answer that?”**

The older licked his lips before nodding and answering the call, bringing the phone to his ear. **“Junhoe?... Um... you’re arriving from where?...”** He froze when he felt Jiwon’s finger, ever so gently, playing with the skin on his hand that was on the keyboard. Jinhwan's brow furrowed as he tried to concentrate on what Junhoe was saying. **“You want to meet?...”**

This time he held in a gasp when he felt slow feathery kisses on his now exposed shoulder, tracing the _‘In the lap of God’_ tattoo that rested there. His neck unconsciously moved to the side as Jiwon continued to softly kiss him, nibbling on the older’s skin; his fingers playing with Jinhwan’s hand before finally intertwining them. 

**“Jun-e... I- I can't...”** Jinhwan bit his lip to refrain a moan that threatened to escape his lips. His eyes closed when Jiwon brought their intertwined hands across the older’s stomach, gently pulling him back against the younger’s warm chest. When Jiwon’s other hand began slowly hiking up his shirt, Jinhwan leaned his head back on the crook of the younger’s neck. **“Jun-e… I-... I'm at my mother’s place right now.”** The older stuttered and Jiwon was amazed to know that Jinhwan didn’t have any underwear on - his brain working around the fact that they were having lunch earlier with Jinhwan in commando.

Jiwon licked his upper lip as an idea came to mind. _‘Let’s see how far we can take this.’_ He slowly started nibbling on the older’s ear, his smile widening when he saw the front hem of Jinhwan's shirt lift up, revealing the pinkish tip of the older’s cock. Jiwon's body instantly reacted, his cock springing rigid into action and poking against Jinhwan’s back.

Jinhwan's body felt like it was on fire - slow burning and becoming gradually hot. The things Jiwon does to his body is always so sensual, leaving him wanting for more. He held the phone with shaky hands as he desperately tried to hear what Junhoe was saying. When Jiwon’s free hand started drawing small circles on the tip of his cock, Jinhwan finally had enough. **“Jun, I can't talk right now. Mom needs me. I’ll just call you again. Okay, bye.”**

Jinhwan quickly ended the call without so much as waiting for Junhoe’s reply. He heard a chuckle in his ear, followed by Jiwon’s husky voice. “ **You liar.”**

 **“You tease.”** The older’s heart hammered loudly on his chest from the anticipation. 

Jiwon licked the outer ear of Jinhwan’s ear, making the older shiver in delight. **“You love it.”**

Jinhwan glared at Jiwon before turning his body towards the younger, his legs straddling Jiwon’s sturdy thighs. **“Shut up, will you?”** He pressed his lips against the latter’s, a soft mewling escaping his throat when Jiwon grabbed his ass and pressed their hips closer, leaning forward and fervently responding to his kiss making the younger’s cock twitch madly inside his shorts.

Their kiss was not the rushed, sloppy kisses they usually share during sex. This kiss was the slow, sensual kind with tongues slowly dancing to their own tango, gently intertwining with need. Jiwon grunted when he felt Jinhwan suck on his seeking tongue, making his body more sensitive and alive. 

Upon hearing the younger grunt, the older circled his arms around Jiwon’s neck, thrusting his hips forward. He suddenly felt the younger pull away and he frowned in confusion. 

**“My shorts...”** Jiwon softly bumped their noses together, plating a chaste kiss on Jinhwan’s sore lips. The younger had to momentarily stand while Jinhwan’s legs hugged the former’s to keep himself from falling. Jiwon quickly took off his shorts and sat back down on the bed. **“Also, lube-”** Jinhwan was already getting the one he had on his drawer. He suddenly felt shy as he hesitantly gave it to Jiwon’s awaiting hand. Jiwon brow arched, amusement filled his eyes. **“Tingling Lube? Interesting…”**

**“I never got to use it…”**

**“Not even with Junhoe?”** Jiwon stared at Jinhwan, his piercing gaze burned the older’s insides. The older shook his head violently, his face as red as a tomato. Jiwon suddenly grabbed Jinhwan’s neck, his lips urgently meeting the latter’s. His grip grew tighter as this new revelation made his blood boil - sending him into a frenzied mode. It excited him to know that Jinhwan is his and his alone. 

Jinhwan moaned at the younger’s sudden aggressive temper. He was so engrossed in their kiss that the sudden warm liquid pumping inside his ass made him loudly gasp and break the kiss, throwing his head back. **“Jiwon!”** The warm lube spreading inside Jinhwan, sending shivers all over his body.

Jiwon reveled in the fact that the older’s body has become more sensitive compared to the other times they fucked. He coated his cock with lube in one sweep and teased Jinhwan’s ass with his tip. The older whimpered as the cold metal piercing touched his skin. **“Want it?”** Jiwon challenged and the older hissed an affirmative sound. **“Then ride me, Luv… ride me slow.”** He leaned his back on the headboard and gently caressed the older’s thighs. He watched as Jinhwan bit his lip before taking the younger’s cock and positioning it at his entrance.

Jinhwan took a deep breath and closed his eyes before slowly lowering himself down, gasping when the tip was fully inside. His hands automatically grabbed Jiwon’s shoulders as his insides stretched, perfectly molding with the younger’s pulsating cock. 

Halfway inside, Jiwon snapped. He held the older’s hips and pulled him down with a force that made Jinhwan cry out a loud gasp with tears in his eyes. He then planted small kisses on the older’s chest, soothing the latter to relax. **“Relax, Luv…”**

When Jinhwan’s body was more relaxed, he thrust his hips forward roughly, making him gasp and Jiwon groan. The older grabbed the younger’s face and kissed him before thrusting again.

####  **_THRUST._**

####  **_THRUST._**

####  **_THRUST._ **

Jinhwan’s body moved like waves as he rode Jiwon’s cock like a man riding a horse, galloping in a vast field with the wind on his face, but the younger suddenly gripped Jinhwan’s waist and guided him to a slow rhythm. He pulled away from the kiss and looked deeply at the younger’s all-pervading gaze. 

**“Slowly. I want to feel every inch of you.”** Jiwon’s deep voice sent Jinhwan a shock of pleasure, pooling achingly at the older’s lower abdomen.

At that moment, all Jinhwan could do was nod - all he could do was surrender. He moved his hips forward, slower this time, and he instantly understood why Jiwon wanted to go slow. He gasped as a slow chill spread out inside him, turning into a warm sensation a minute after. 

Sweat broke out in Jiwon’s forehead as he watched Jinhwan slowly fuck him, every nerve on his cock feeling the older’s walls; every thrust taking him to a state of pure bliss. It's taking every strength on his body not to grab the older’s hips and just ram his cock inside. 

When Jinhwan’s grip on Jiwon’s shoulders tightened, he knew the older was close so he leaned forward and sucked on the shirt where the older’s perky nipples were as his hand played with the other. **“OH GOD, JIWON!”** The older cried out loud as the younger’s swirling tongue on his nipple was sending him on edge. He continued to thrust his hips as his ass tightly clenched on Jiwon’s cock, making the latter pinch Jinhwan’s nipple in return. 

**“FUCK! I'M CUMMING! JIWONN~!”** Jinhwan's loud profanity and Jiwon’s name in one sentence was music to the younger’s ears. The older’s cock jerked violently as his warm cum spurted out, splattering some on their shirts. Jinhwan bit back a disappointed cry when he felt the younger quickly lift him up and pull out only to realize that Jiwon wanted to discard their shirts. He yelped when he was flipped on his back, Jiwon’s hot body all over him the next second. 

Jinhwan gulped at the younger’s predatory eyes looking down on him, making his cock harden again. Soon he felt a cold poking on his ass and let out a satisfied moan when Jiwon’s cock entered him again, thrusting hard, making the bed move forward. Jinhwan’s hands instantly hugged the younger’s back as he felt the powerful thrust deeply driving into him. 

But Jiwon withheld his pace. He was enjoying the slow rhythm they started but his thrust was far from gentle. He withdrew his cock painstakingly slow before roughly pushing inside, grinding their hips together and making Jinhwan loudly moan his name.

With Jinhwan’s ass squeezing on his cock and continuous moaning, He felt a familiar ache gather at the lower part of his abdomen. _‘A little more.’_ The younger grabbed Jinhwan’s legs, drawing it close to the older’s chest and spreading it wide, and continued to fuck him.

The position made Jinhwan's ass so tight that it made him arch his back and dig his nails on Jiwon’s back.

####  **IN** and **OUT**. **IN** and **OUT**. **IN** and **OUT**.

The older was about to go crazy when he felt Jiwon grip his thighs tightly - a signal that the younger was close. All it took was for Jiwon to lean forward and suck on the sensitive part on Jinhwan's neck to make the older cry out. **“JIWON! I-.. I… I’M CUMMING!”**

Jiwon let out a muffled groan as he felt Jinhwan’s nails slide down his back, making him roughly push one more time before he completely became still. He whispered Jinhwan’s name before spilling out his seed inside, his body shaking as he gave every last drop. 

* * *

Jiwon’s arm draped over Jinhwan’s shoulder as the latter cuddled comfortably on his chest. He ran his hand up and down the older’s spine as both of them laid on the bed with little bits of sheets covering them. 

They had ordered pizza for dinner as the activities from earlier left them famished. They ate in bed, casually talking and joking around - much like the atmosphere they had at lunch. After dinner, they remained cuddled in bed, just enjoying each other’s company.

The comfortable silence was broken by Jinhwan suddenly chuckling. **“God… I feel like I'm having an affair.”**

**“Technically…”** Jiwon began but started chuckling when the older playfully smacked him on the chest. 

**“Oh shut it!”** If Jinhwan wanted to sound angry, he failed as his lips curved into a smile. He then sighed as he tried to think. **“Everything is just… I don't know. I have to talk to him properly soon.”**

Jiwon only asked about Junhoe because he doesn't want the older to feel guilty and go back to blaming himself. Surprisingly, Jinhwan’s answer made him feel relieved. He chose not to respond and just snuggled closer to the older. 

After a few minutes of silence, he checked to see the older’s eyes closed. He inwardly chuckled thinking of how Jinhwan must feel exhausted as the older fell asleep right away. What happened today felt so surreal to him, to the point where he was suddenly afraid if this was all a dream but with Jinhwan snuggled closely in his arms, he could only hope that it wasn't.

His head was so busy thinking of all kinds of things that he couldn't help the yawn that escaped his lips. He smiled as Jinhwan wasn't the only one exhausted, it seems. He looked at the older again, feeling so happy, that he whispered the words he’s been longing to say.

 ** _“I love you.”_** Jiwon softly kissed the top of Jinhwan’s head before closing his eyes, joining his beloved to dreamland. He was about to sleep when he felt Jinhwan’s long lashes tickle his chest. He immediately froze and opened his eyes, holding his breath. _‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’_

Jinhwan slowly lifted his head and looked at the younger, his searching eyes looking into Jiwon’s panicked ones. He silently observed Jiwon’s nervous face and breathed out a heartfelt sigh - gone was the animosity, gone was the blame, gone was the sadness. Oddly enough, all that he feels right now is happiness and Jinhwan liked this - he liked it a lot. The younger’s nervous face brought a small smile to his lips and he did something that shocked even him.

The younger did not anticipate Jinhwan to lean in, planting a firm kiss against his lips. His eyes fluttered shut and he brought his other arm over to the older and pulled him into a hug, kissing him back with the same passion.

When he said it, he didn't expect anything, much less a reply back. He only whispered what he truly felt because at this point there was no turning back for him. No words were needed and that was okay. He will settle for this and it was more than enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JP Saxe [If The World Was Ending](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtu82YxbvzE)


	10. Wide Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

They arrived giggling at the Doctor’s office over some random joke but it soon quickly dwindled when they noticed the Doctor sitting on her desk, with a basket beside her. She greeted them with a warm smile. **"Don't sit."**

**"O~kay? Hey, Doc."** Jinhwan greeted. 

**"Giving up on us, Doc?"** Jiwon joked, nudging the older’s arm, who just rolled his eyes.

Doctor scoffed **. "Far from it. We will be… well you'll be doing something else today."** She took the basket and handed it over to Jiwon. **"Inside the basket is a blanket and a tape recorder which I'll be needing back by the way."**

**"Are we going somewhere?"** The older asked, leaning over and peeking at the basket Jiwon held.

**“You are. Think of this as… free time! Excursion of sorts.”**

**“What will the topic for today be then?”**

The doctor smiled as she looked at them carefully. **“That… I will let you decide. You can bring back the stuff sometime this week. Now shoo!”**

The couple looked at each other before nodding and saying their goodbyes to the doctor. As they were about to turn the door, she didn't miss the way Jinhwan casually slipped his arm to Jiwon’s awaiting ones. 

And now she was left to wonder how the day will turn out. 

* * *

They found a cozy spot, under the tree, in the park nearby. Jiwon carefully laid out the blanket, tape recorder and small snacks they bought along the way before flopping down to sit. Jinhwan opted to lean his back against the tree and crossed his legs on his feet.

**“So… what shall we talk about?”** Jiwon asked as he laid his head contentedly on the older’s lap, tinkering with his phone.

Jinhwan softly groaned at the sudden weight on his lap but made no effort to tell Jiwon off. Instead, he ran his fingers through the younger’s hair and thought of a topic for their session, looking at the light baby blue sky. He glanced down and found Jiwon in deep thought so he tilted his head to see what the younger was seriously typing about. 

_‘Katie.’_

The name left a sour taste on Jinhwan’s tongue. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms across his chest. **“Seems like Katie is part of our therapy now, huh?”** grumbled the older which made Jiwon look up.

**“Are you jealous?”** came the teasing reply of the younger, who had a big smile on his lips. 

Jinhwan focused his attention to the kids playing football nearby and ignored Jiwon’s question. He's been hearing that name ever since they started this whole therapy thing and it was honestly getting on his nerves. It was ridiculous really. **“So what if I am?”**

Jiwon pursed his lips to keep his smile from widening further. When he noticed that the older seemed genuinely irked, he sighed and pulled himself into a sitting position. He grabbed Jinhwan’s hand and intertwined them together, despite the latter's resistance. **“You shouldn’t be jealous.”**

**“Why shouldn't I?”**

**“I’ll tell you if you look at me. Piglet... “**

The older sighed and glared at Jiwon, who smiled at his small success. **“Katie is like a younger sister to me. I've been helping her produce her music and let me tell you she’s got potential. And before you say anything, Katie doesn’t like… _LIKE_ me.”**

**“But… when we first met?”**

**“She’s a brat who loves to tease people. Besides she know I only have eyes for one particular person…”** Jiwon flashed Jinhwan a warm smile before kissing the back of the older’s hand.

Jinhwan’s glare softened and his lips puckered to a small frown. **“That's really it?”**

**“Yeah! I mean look! Scroll through our conversations and you’ll see!”** The younger gave Jinhwan his phone to let him see. Jiwon leaned in and scrolled the phone himself as the older read.

True to his word, Katie didn’t like LIKE Jiwon. Jinhwan could feel their playful banter even through the texts, making him smile from time to time. **“Wanna set her up with my brat?”**

**“Chanwoo? Hey, not a bad idea! Brat for a brat!”**

They both giggled and resumed reading through Jiwon’s phone. Their heads were so close together that they didn't see the sudden jerk coming. Jinhwan winced as Junhoe’s grip on his arm tightened, pulling him to his feet. **“Ju-Junhoe??”**

**“So this is what you were doing behind my back?? I should have known. We are going home. NOW.”** Junhoe yanked Jinhwan towards his car. 

Jinhwan looked at Jiwon with panic in his eyes before turning his attention on Junhoe. **“Wa-wait Jun! We are still doing therapy... Please wait! You're hurting me!”**

The older, who was still trying to pull his arm, was helplessly dragged away. But just before they reached the car, Junhoe felt a hard tug on his wrist. He looked back and saw Jiwon gripping him. The former ran a tongue inside his cheek. **“Let go. This is our problem, not yours.”**

**“Oh this is my problem too, Dick! We are still having our session and you’re taking him against his will so I suggest you let go.”** Jiwon’s teeth clenched so hard that he was grinding them to keep his control.

Junhoe bitterly laughed. **“Session?? SESSION?? Your head on my lover’s lap? You call that a session? Looks like you're trying to get back together…Oh! Ohh! I’ll do you one better! You're fucking behind my back…”** When he saw Jinhwan flinched, Junhoe shook his head in disbelief. **“Wow! I was gone for a few days and I came home to this? What a slut!”**

**“You take that back.”** Jiwon forcefully made Junhoe let go of the oldest arm. 

**“Why? Where’s the lie?! I'm working my ass off while my lover is planning to get back with his ex-husband!”**

Jinhwan, sensing Jiwon’s rising anger, stepped in between them to calm the situation as some onlookers were starting to stare. **“Please… let’s not start a scene. We can talk properly like adults here. Just-... Jiwon, I’ll just go with Jun and talk with him properly. I’ll call Doc to reschedule, hm?”**

Even though Jiwon was displeased with what he heard, he would always respect Jinhwan’s decision. He gave the older a small nod, not trusting his voice. He squared his shoulders and turned away, not wanting to see the obnoxious face of Junhoe.

Just when Jinhwan got his things, he saw Junhoe’s flying fist at the corner of his eyes and he immediately threw his body in front of Jiwon, making the punch land on his face. 

Jiwon saw red. He growled as he pulled on Junhoe’s arm and roughly pinned him on the grass. He straddled the latter and held his chest steady with one arm, his other already swinging up in the air. The next thing that could be heard was a cackle, like the breaking of a bone, as his fist landed brutally on Junhoe’s jaw.

**PUNCH.**

#####  **PUNCH.**

####  **PUNCH.**

##  **PUNCH.**

Jinhwan’s eyes trembled at every punch Jiwon threw became stronger, his insides twisting and turning at the sheer force. In all the years they’ve been together, he had never seen the younger snap like this. He instinctively knew he had to do something.

**“STOP! STOP! JIWON STOP!”** Jinhwan begged Jiwon, hugging the younger’s arm before the latter could land another punch. **“Please, Jiwon… Please stop.”** He begged some more as he looked at Junhoe’s bloody face, most probably caused by a broken nose. 

Jiwon let out short, rapid breaths, his nostrils flaring and teeth grinding against each other as he looked down on Junhoe. He let Jinhwan pull him away, disgust on his eyes as he stood up. 

Junhoe groaned as he slowly stumbled to get up. He touched his nose and flinched at the pain. **“FUCK! You broke my nose!”**

**“Serves you right, you piece of shit! You insult, or so much as lay a finger, on Jinhwan again and that’s not all you're going to get. Now get out of here!”**

**“Babe let’s go.”** Junhoe reached out his hand towards Jinhwan but the older moved back, making the former shake his head. **“So, you’d rather be with him than with me?? Whatever! Don’t even bother coming home!”** He glared at the couple before turning, mumbling curses while he nursed his bleeding nose, driving away with an engine booming furiously behind.

Jiwon watched Junhoe leave with careful eyes. When the latter left, his eyes unconsciously searched the crowd, bowing slightly at the ruckus they caused. He glanced at Jinhwan and his eyes widened, his anger immediately dissipating as he saw the bloody lip the latter had. **“Shit, are you okay?”**

**“I’m... okay.”** Jinhwan nodded and heaved a shaky sigh of relief.

**“I’m sorry… well I’m not sorry for punching him, he deserved it. I just… lost my cool! He was bad mouthing you and I can't-”**

Jinhwan’s legs suddenly gave out and the younger was quick to catch him. **“I-I’m o-okay… just… a bit shaken.”**

**“I’m sorry, Luv. I got carried away.”** Jiwon nestled the older’s head in his chest, hugging him tightly.

**“Let’s just stay like this for a while.”** Jinhwan welcomed the younger’s hug, letting the comforting warmth envelope him. He doesn't know what rattled him more - the way Junhoe found out about them, the solid punch that landed on his face or seeing Jiwon beat the shit out of his lover. 

His mind was in turmoil where to start first. One thing he knows for sure though, is that he needed to talk with Junhoe.

* * *

**“Will you be okay?”** Jiwon squeezed Jinhwan’s hand, worrying all over his face. 

They had stayed in the park a little longer until the older was able to calm down. When Jinhwan said he’d go home and talk with Junhoe, he insisted on taking the older back to their apartment, despite Jinhwan's assurance that he’ll be fine. 

The older nodded. **“I will be.”**

**“If something happens, call me.”**

**“I will.”** Jinhwan tiptoed and gave the younger a soft peck on the cheek. **“I’ll see you next week, Pooh Bear.”**

Jiwon nodded before going back inside the cab they just got off on. And as the cab drove off, Jinhwan looked back at the building, heaving a deep sigh. He trudged his way up to their apartment and stood outside their door for a full minute before silently turning the keys.

He was greeted by a dimly lit living room, with Junhoe’s back to the door. He entered and slowly approached the younger. **“Jun-”**

**“Save it… I took the liberty of packing your bags for you.”** Junhoe swirled the whiskey glass he held, his voice restrained and angry.

Jinhwan glanced at two suitcases near the sofa before returning his attention back to his lover. **“Jun-e, let’s talk.”**

Junhoe snorted. **“So now you want to talk? What for? You obviously made your choice. I don't want to hear your excuses.”**

**“When we first met, did you love me?”**

The question made Junhoe’s head snap in Jinhwan's direction, looking at him in disbelief. But Jinhwan remained calm, waiting for an answer. **“What kind of question is that?? I wouldn’t have invested in us so much if I thought this was just a fling! So yeah, of course I did!”** The younger’s voice rising at the accusing question.

Jinhwan nodded, believing him. **“Me too. There was a time when we were in love, weren't we?”**

**“What's your point?”** The younger asked in a very annoyed and offensive tone.

**“Do you love me now?”** Jinhwan softly asked.

The simple question caught Junhoe unaware, leaving him speechless. He was completely thrown off guard that it suddenly confused him on what to reply. **“I-..”**

In Junhoe’s hesitation, Jinhwan knew. The older gave the former a small smile before exhaling a breath. **“Thought so… I think... we’ve known for a while now. I was too afraid to do something because... I didn't want to be alone. I thought that I needed someone to love me to give me a sense of purpose.”**

There was a pause before Junhoe’s somewhat steady voice asked, **“And now?”**

**“It's different now. I realized a lot of things and have made peace with them… including with myself. So now, I think I’ll be okay.”** Jinhwan closed the distance between them and held Junhoe’s hand. **“Jun, we’ve given everything we can to make it work but…”**

The change was drastic. Their romantic dates turned into business meetings that took almost the whole night, leaving Jinhwan tucking a drunk Junhoe to bed. Their deep meaningful talks became a nuisance as work started piling up for the younger. And when the pressure from work started getting intense, the younger spent less time at home with Jinhwan staring at the empty plate across their dining table.

Junhoe’s eyes searched Jinhwan’s for answers he already knew. Along the way, they've become different people with different priorities and along with it the love they had. His eyes slightly softened as he continued to look at Jinhwan, giving the older’s hand a squeeze. He knew but he just wished things didn’t turn out like they did.

**“You’re an amazing man deep down. I know it because I’ve seen it. I hope you find that man again and meet someone who would love you just as much as you love them, who would love you with everything they’ve got.”**

Jinhwan caressed the younger’s cheek before smiling. **“Goodbye, Jun. I’ll be cheering for you on the side.”** He withdrew his hands and slowly backed away. He took the suitcases and started for the door.

Junhoe, despite having lingering anger, understood what the older was saying. They were both prolonging something that wasn't just meant to be. **“Jinhwan?”** He called out and when the older looked back, he took one last long look. **“I really did love you.”**

**“Me too.”** Jinhwan tilted his head before closing the door, leaving Junhoe to stare at his retreating form. He dragged his heavy suitcases with ease and let out another sigh as soon as the chilly night breeze hit him on the streets. He pulled his coat closer to his body as he hailed a cab, giving the driver his apartment address before settling comfortably on his seat. He’ll come get his car tomorrow. For now, he just wanted to melt on the seat and relax.

**“Is it okay if I put the radio on, Sir?”**

**“Sure!”** Jinhwan replied. The DJ’s voice filled the cab as he recommended this new track from Katy Perry, Wide Awake that was just released yesterday. He liked Katy Perry so he sat alert, listening carefully to her song lyrics. 

_I'm wide awake_

_And now it's clear to me_

_That everything you see_

_Ain't always what it seems_

_I'm wide awake_

_Yeah, I was dreaming for so long_

_I wish I knew then_

_What I know now_

_Wouldn't dive in_

_Wouldn't bow down_

_Gravity hurts_

_You made it so sweet_

_Till I woke up on_

_On the concrete_

Just how fitting the lyrics could be, Jinhwan thought. It was like the universe knew what he felt - what he needed to hear the most. 

_Falling from cloud nine_

_Crashing from the high_

_I'm letting go tonight_

_I'm falling from cloud nine_

_Thunder rumbling_

_Castles crumbling_

_I am trying to hold on_

_God knows that I tried_

_Seeing the bright side_

_But I'm not blind anymore_

_I'm wide awake_

_I'm wide awake_

A smile formed on his lips when the song came to its end. He lowered the windows down and breathed in deep, exhaling the next. He couldn't explain it well but every breath he took felt so fresh, as if he was smelling air for the first time. 

He leaned his head on the cab door and contentedly continued to watch the scenery outside, feeling lighter and finally free.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katy Perry [Wide Awake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YH4YCqcPjI)


	11. How Long Will I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters and music are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

Jinhwan nervously glanced at Jiwon, who just gave him a reassuring smile. Just this morning they both received a call from the Doctor asking if she could meet with them that same afternoon. They suspected it was about yesterday but they just expect they’d be called so soon. 

They both flinched when the doctor came in. **“Sorry I am late! God the traffic is so bad today**.” She placed her things on the side before sitting on her desk, facing them. She winced as she noticed Jinhwan's bruised lip and Jiwon’s swollen hand. **“Anyway~! You must be wondering why I called you here.”**

 **“Is it because of the recording?”** Jinhwan asked guiltily. 

Doctor picked up the tape recorder on her desk. **“This? Oh no! I admit I was pretty surprised but that's not why I asked to meet.”**

 **“It's not?”** Jiwon looked at the doctor confused.

 **“No.”** The couple suddenly tensed at the warm smile the doctor gave them. **“I called you here… to tell you that our therapy session is over.”**

**“What?”**

**“What?”**

The couple said simultaneously, looking at each other then back at the doctor. The doctor's smile widened at their reaction. **“I have nothing more that I could help you with. Judging from how you are now, I think… we are done.”** She then took an envelope from her bag and placed it on the space between them. 

Jinhwan inhaled a sharp breath as he stared at the brown envelope. **“This is?”**

**“Your divorce papers. I'm giving it back to you.”**

**“With wha-what recommendation?”** The older stammered, his heart pounding fast waiting for the doctors reply.

**“Nothing. I've told you from the beginning that I am only here to help you understand your situation… the rest? It's up to you. Consider this our goodbye meeting. I'm going to miss you guys - my rigid couple who always walk out on me.”**

Jiwon scratched his head and sheepishly gave the doctor an apologetic smile. **“Sorry.”**

**“That's fine but hey, if you ever see me on the streets, don't be a stranger! After today, I am simply an acquaintance.”**

Jinhwan, who was still rattled by the Doctor’s sudden announcement, could only blink. He took the envelope, not wanting to see it any longer, and placed it on his bag. He turned to Jiwon, who nodded, understanding what the older meant. They stood up and extended their hands towards the doctor.

She nodded before shaking each of their hands. **“Good luck to you both. I trust that you’ll figure things out.”**

Jinhwan gave her a grateful smile. **“Thank you, Doc. It was… a pleasure working with you. ”**

 **“We hope to see you again… though not here, definitely not here.”** Jiwon shook his head in fear which made the Doctor chuckle. **“See you, Doc!”**

She watched as Jinhwan took Jiwon’s offered hand before leaving her office. At the start of their sessions, she had hoped things would work out between them and now that they have, she could only hope for the best. 

As they walked out of the building, Jinhwan tugged at Jiwon’s hand. **“What do we do now?”**

 **“Hm… Want to have a real proper date?”** The younger suggested while biting his lip.

Jinhwan suddenly felt his cheeks burn as he timidly nodded. **“I’d love that.”**

* * *

They decided to walk around the area where the park they've been at yesterday was. With hands intertwined and blushing cheeks, they spent the afternoon like a normal couple in love. They took their time going around the area, talking and just having fun. At random times one would find the other staring and they’d look away with a knowing smile on their lips. When their feet grew tired, they took shelter inside a cozy cafe, giggling and stealing kisses in one corner.

The afternoon passed by and they found themselves at the park. They stood there in silence, with Jinhwan's head leaning on Jiwon’s shoulder and watched as the blue sky slowly turned into a beautiful mixture of yellow and orange. 

**“Jinhwan…”**

**“Don’t say it. Don't ruin the mood.”** Jinhwan felt Jiwon chuckle and kiss the top of his head. 

Jiwon peered at the older’s face. **“You know we have to talk about it, right?”**

Jinhwan sighed. **“I hate you.”**

**“I wish I could believe you... But you know that's not true.”**

The older sighed loudly. **“Do we really have to? Can't we just-...”**

 **“Hey, look at me.”** Jiwon waited until the older turned his way. **“I love you with all my heart… but we can't be together for the wrong reasons. Not like this.”**

Jinhwan pouted and glared at the younger. **“You really have to say it so bluntly?”**

 **“I know you're thinking about it too.”** Jiwon paused before releasing a breath **. “I can't lose you again, Piglet. I won't. We need time to really figure things out.”**

**“What are you suggesting then?”**

**“We need to give ourselves time. How about… a year? I think that's enough time to know. The way we are is fucking amazing but… how we came to be now…”** Jiwon hesitated when he felt the older squeeze his hand. **“I want this as much as you do but I don't want us to regret anything along the way.”**

Jinhwan pursed his lips as his jaw started to shake. He could feel the younger's gaze on him but he continued to stare at the sunset before him. The moment he felt Jiwon’s arm wrap upon his shoulder, his tears dropped like small rain showers. 

**“Awww, Luv. Don't cry.”**

**“I hate this.”** The older shook his head and sniffed loudly. **“I just… I just got you back... but-... I hate it more… that I know what you're saying is true.”** He croaked back a cry and buried his face on the younger’s chest, his body shuddered as the tears fell. Throughout their date, he’s had this scratching feeling in his gut. Jinhwan knew what it was and by the knowing smile the younger gave him that afternoon, he knew Jiwon felt it too.

Jiwon hugged Jinhwan tightly, whispering sweet nothings on the latter’s ear, rubbing his back soothingly. It wasn't like he didn't want them to be together, it's just that he wanted to make sure this was what they really wanted and not because they missed the feeling of love or the familiarity of being with each other.

When Jinhwan stopped shaking and calmed down, he pulled back and looked up. **“One year?”**

 **“Mhm...”** Jiwon gave Jinhwan the warmest smile he could muster and cupped the older’s face in his hands, gently wiping the latter’s tear stained face. **“One year from today.”**

 **“Okay.”** Jinhwan nodded, his cheeks red and eyes glazed from crying.

 **“We can meet at the cafe we just had a date at… let’s say, 3pm?”** Jiwon suggested as he placed a soft kiss on the older’s forehead. He smiled when he felt the older’s lips, planting a soft peck on his chin. He then brought his head down at Jinhwan’s eye level and pinched his cheeks. **“If the year is up and both of us are there, we will know. If only one of us is there…”** He exhaled a breath before continuing **, “then we will know. If none of us is there… well we will never know because-.. OW!”**

 **“Stop joking.”** Jinhwan jabbed at the younger’s chest, his lips pouting into a frown, which only made Jiwon chuckle, flashing his bunny tooth.

This time the younger turned serious. **“And if before the year is up and you decide this isn't what you want… then I will know.”**

Jinhwan licked his lips and nodded. **“A year. Cafe Toujours. 3pm."** He touched Jiwon's cheek and sniffed. **“So... this is it?”**

 **“This is it.”** By now Jiwon’s jaw was starting to hurt from gritting his teeth, holding back his tears. **“On a count of three?”**

 **“One.”** The older barely whispered as he felt his tears starting up again.

Jiwon sadly smiled and caressed the heart shaped mole below Jinhwan's eye. He swallowed the lump on his throat and nodded. **“Two.”**

And just before it was Jinhwan's turn, the older leaned in and pressed his lips against the younger's, deeply kissing him, his tears streaming down his face again. He pulled back and stared at Jiwon long, memorizing the younger’s face. **“I love you, Jiwon.”**

Both of them remained rooted from where they stood, reluctant to let go. They knew that the more they stay, the harder it gets so with a heavy heart, Jinhwan blew a shaky breath. **“Three.”**

They simultaneously let go and slowly turned around in opposite directions, walking away with dragging feets, not looking back once.

* * *

**ONE YEAR LATER**

* * *

**_2:45pm, Cafe Toujours_ **

The door chimes clanged loudly as Jinhwan came inside the Cafe, searching for a familiar face before waving. He made his way towards the table at the corner and sat in one of the chairs. 

**“Here’s your usual, Mr. Kim**.” A pretty waitress set down the Cafe Americano Jinhwan usually orders. 

Jinhwan warmly smiled at the waitress. **“Thank you, Ally! I told you to call me Jinhwan.”**

 **“Okay~, Jinhwan.”** Ally rolled her eyes but a minute later she sighed. **“Can I ask you something?”**

The older almost choked on his coffee at the sudden question. **“Um, yeah sure!”**

**“You've been coming here at this cafe for the past two months, usually at this time and then leaving after 30 minutes. I'm curious, what's the Amazing Kim Jinhwan's story?”**

_‘Amazing Kim Jinhwan’_ Jinhwan smiled as he remembered how he came to have that nickname six months ago.

* * *

* * *

_Jinhwan had put his foot down and asked the company to let him produce his own music. And since Junhoe resigned as his manager, the older was given full reign. Not long after, he secretly released his solo album entitled, **Pieces of Me** \- with no promotion, no previews._ _The fans were immensely surprised but they were happy nonetheless to hear from their beloved artist. His album took the number 1 spot for weeks and with the overwhelming positive feedbacks, Jinhwan had convinced his company to hold a one-time big time concert for free._

 _T_ _hat night, he performed magnificently, giving it with everything he got and continuously expressing how grateful he is for his fans. As it came to an end, he energetically waved goodbye - saddened that it was over._

_As the lights dimmed down, he quickly went backstage and climbed on a small platform where a mic stand, a stool and guitar was prepared._

**_“Hyung, are you sure about this?”_ ** _Chanwoo asked nervously._

_Jinhwan turned to Chanwoo with a determined look. **“I am.”** He took the guitar, sat on the stool and after taking a deep breath, he signaled for the team to hit the lights. _

_When the spotlight suddenly showed Jinhwan at the small platform, fans went wild and he smiled at the deafening screams. He then put a finger to his lips and the crowd went silent. **“This song is dedicated to a special someone in my life. I hope this reaches you… wherever you are.”**_

_He smiled before closing his eyes, his fingers starting the song that would eventually become a love song for a loved one._

_How long will I love you_

_As long as stars are above you_

_And longer if I can_

_How long will I need you_

_As long as the seasons need to_

_Follow their plan_

_How long will I be with you_

_As long as the sea is bound to_

_Wash up on the sand_

_When Jinhwan opened his eyes, he held the sob that threatened to escape. The fans had waved their phone lights from left to right, with some having tears down their face._

_How long will I love you_

_As long as stars are above you_

_And longer if I may_

****

**_“I love you, Kim Jiwon.”_**

_The audience gasped at the same time that the lights went off. Seconds later, Jinhwan heard the fans chant loudly ‘Amazing Kim Jinhwan’. He smiled as he listened intently to the screams, which got louder than before, backstage. He’s sure the tabloids would be gossiping about what happened tonight, smiling at the thought as he could only hope it reaches Jiwon._

* * *

* * *

Jinhwan just gave Ally another smile. 

**“Oh fine! I won't pry. I’ll leave you for now, Jinhwan. You better have an answer for me next time.”** Ally eyed him playfully before going back to work.

The older just shook his head and went back to sipping his coffee. Coming to the cafe was a gamble - a gamble he took and given the chance to change anything, he would still make the same decision because Jinhwan was sure of what he wanted. He also understood that things don't go as one expects it to but he still took the chance because at least with this he will know.

He was lost in his thoughts that the sound of a familiar cuckoo clock startled him - **3 o’ clock reminder**. He closed his eyes as his heart started beating fast, hands twitching in anticipation. 

**_Ting-a-ling!_ **

Jinhwan looked up and sucked in a breath.

A second later he released a long sigh, a mixture of resignation and relief, as he knowingly smiled and looked out the window, nodding contentedly as he found his answer.

* * *

**THE END.**

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make Believe Cover [How Long Will I Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jpU48CITVQ)


	12. Epilogue: Sweet Disposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER : Characters are not mine and the scenarios are all imaginary.

Chanwoo blinked at the blushing fan before him. He hesitantly received the letter and looked at Jinhwan, who tried to keep himself from smiling. 

**"Oppa, thank you for taking care of Jinani… also you're very handsome** …” The fan’s round and excited eyes were glued to Chanwoo as she handed him her pink letter then turned to the older to give a cute teddy bear. **“But you're the most handsome, Jinani!"**

The youngest stared at the letter before receiving a hard nudge by Jinhwan making the former take the letter. **"Uh… thank you?"**

 **"Aww Baby, they think you're cute."** Jinhwan lovingly fixed Chanwoo’s hair before turning to his fan. **"Thank you so much for your words. He takes care of me very well. Please continue to support us!"**

**"Fighting!"**

Jinhwan put up his small fist, smiling brightly at the fan before bowing and looping his arm to Chanwoo’s. **"Fighting! We have to go now! Bye bye!"** The fans giggled before running away in the opposite direction. 

**"Really?? You had to do that??"** Chanwoo annoyingly expressed.

 **"Oh c'mon! It's fun... Besides, you do take care of me, very well if I may add… Baby."**

**"You're lucky I love you. Let's go now before more of your fans come. I wouldn't know what to do if I received any more fan letters. I swear this is nowhere near my pay grade."** Chanwoo opened the passenger’s door and hurriedly went over to his side of the car. Jinhwan had suddenly announced that he wanted to do a live feed for his fans so they had gone to buy some snacks for the staff currently setting up at his new house. Thankfully, everything was in order by the time they came back and the older was then dragged to be prepared.

When Jinhwan was finished prepping for the camera, he sat in their living room and waited. A staff member then loudly called out, gaining the attention of everyone, **"We go live in 3, 2, 1..."**

 **"HI EVERYONE! It's me, Kim Jinhwan and today, as promised, we are live! If you remembered, I asked you guys earlier to comment something you wanted to ask me and I am here to answer them real time! No cuts, no take twos! Just me!”** The older waved and smiled brightly at the camera.

He had a tablet set up on his side where he could look at comments during the said live. **“Shall we get right into it then? So… the most common question fans have commented is: Why did you suddenly go into a music hiatus?”** He knowingly looked to his side and his smile widened. 

Six months ago, Jinhwan had suddenly announced a hiatus from the music industry. Fans were greatly concerned by it but he assured them that he just needed some time to recuperate from his consecutive schedules and judging from his condition now, they were pleased to know that he has been doing well.

 **“To put it simply, I just needed the rest. The schedules were taking a toll on my body and mental health is very important everyone, do not forget that. Remember that it is okay to take a break from something that exhausts you. Take care of your body and it will be all worth it! I mean just look at me!”** Jinhwan blinked his eyes rapidly and gave a teasing smile at the camera. He burst out laughing as he read the comments. **“Okay, okay! Let's proceed! Next question: What did you do during your hiatus? Hmm, this is actually a very good question and I’ll tell you. I did… Absolutely…. NOTHING!”**

 **“I was mostly staying home and just relaxing! I took care of a few plants but that's about it! Haha! I know, I know… you might say it's impossible but that's what I did!”** He looked at the tablet and shook his head. " **I even have a witness!!”** Jinhwan glanced at the side and although the camera remained on him, the staff looked to the area where Chanwoo was at.

Chanwoo sucked in a breath and darted his eyes around the room. He could be seen violently shaking his head as he glared at Jinhwan. 

**“WELL!”** The older’s loud voice turned the staff’s attention back to him. **“That is a story for another time! Let's proceed! Next question is: When will you be releasing music again? Ooooohhh I like this question! I will be back soon! Very, very soon! So please wait for me more! I will make it worth your while, I promise!”**

Jinhwan smiled and read more comments. **“It seems like that's the most common question you guys sent in so I don’t have much to answer to. Hm… I do, actually, have an announcement to make. I thought that it would be best if you heard it from me directly rather than have my face all over an unconfirmed news. So, are you guys ready??”** When he saw the comments section flood with ‘OMG! YES!’, he took out something from his bag and stood a little bit closer to the camera. **“TADA!”**

In the older’s hands, was a pregnancy test that had double lines along with the piece of paper with the visible word POSITIVE on it. The room was silent for a few minutes and Jinhwan bit his lip in anticipation as each of the staff had huge, surprised eyes with their jaws slacking in astonishment. The next thing they heard was a loud crash coming from the next room. 

Jinhwan timidly smiled at the staff, his eyes darting from Chanwoo and the wall behind him. He was about to proceed when a deep voice resonated in the room. **“You’re pregnant?”** The staff gasped loudly as standing at the doorway with a surprised look on his face, was Jiwon.

In truth, Jinhwan kept looking to the side because he felt excited at knowing Jiwon’s reaction, who was secretly watching from the other room. They have been very careful in keeping their relationship a secret as they wanted to enjoy each other’s company in peace. It didn't even bother them that rumors started circulating of Chanwoo being Jinhwan's lover since the youngest was always by the latter’s side - as per Jiwon’s instructions.

But when Jinhwan knew he was pregnant, they’d have to tell the world and what better way than to announce with a bang. The older’s smiled brightened as he saw Jiwon there. **“I am. 5 ½ months.”**

Jiwon’s face contorted from shocked to worry then to a small smile. His feet slowly dragged him towards the older as he continued to search Jinhwan’s face. **“We’re really pregnant?”**

 **“Are… we happy about this?”** Jinhwan bit his lip, his brows gathering at the center worriedly.

 **“Are you kidding me??? Of course we are! We’re pregnant!!”** Jiwon expressed loudly as he choked out a laugh, gently pulling the older towards him and planting a sweet kiss to which Jinhwan readily accepted. When he pulled back, he was still smiling as he rubbed Jinhwan’s cheeks with his thumb. 

Jinhwan, who was blushing like a teenager, bit his lip and smiled. **“Pooh Bear?”**

 **“Hm?”** The younger replied, still floating in the clouds.

 **“You do know we are live, right?”** Jinhwan looked towards the cameraman, who unknowingly followed Jiwon the moment the latter showed himself. He giggled when he felt the younger go rigid.

Jiwon immediately shut his eyes and winced, pinching the bridge of his nose. **“Damn it! You planned this, didn’t you?”**

The older giggled some more and poked the younger’s chest. **“There’s more! Open your eyes and look up.”**

 **“Mistletoe?”** Jiwon questioned the moment he saw the plant hovering over his head, the older holding it high.

Jinhwan raised his brows expectedly and nodded. **“Mistletoe… Well? Aren't you going to kiss me?”**

 **“Now?”** Jiwon panicky asked, to which the older just shrugged. He sighed and shook his head. **“Cats out in the bag so why the hell not?”** He leaned down and kissed Jinhwan lovingly – it was so sweet that anyone who was watching felt their cheeks getting warm. 

When Jiwon pulled away, Jinhwan had a big smile on his face. He then turned to the camera, with blushing cheeks and swollen lips, and waved. **“That's it for today! Please look forward to Mistletoe's comeback soon and yes I am still married to Kim Jiwon and yes I am pregnant! See you guys next time! Bye!”**

* * *

* * *

_Jinhwan stood up and went to the counter, where Ally was already waiting for him with his bill. **"Thanks, Ally."**_

**_"See you tomorrow, Mr. Kim!"_ **

_The older just smiled at her teasing tone and paid for his bill. **"Hmm… maybe not tomorrow. Keep the change, yeah?"**_

####  **_BANG!_ **

_Jinhwan flinched at the loud opening of the cafe door behind him, the chimes almost getting detached from the fast movement. He turned to give the person a glare but what he saw made him freeze._

_Standing at the doorway heaving heavily, was Jiwon with beads of sweat trickling down the side of his face, his breathing ragged and heavy. He adjusted his hoodie before slowly approaching the older. **“My car broke down and I ran here as fast as I could. Fuck… my legs hurt.”** He breathlessly said before putting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Jinhwan continued to blink and stare at the man he has waited for so long. When Jiwon stood straight again, he gave the older a small smile. **“Am I too late?”**_

_Jinhwan released a breath he didn't know he held and his hand slowly reached out towards the younger's face. He gasped when Jiwon grabbed his hand and kissed his palms. His jaw started shaking as he immediately jumped to hug the younger by the neck. " **Is this real? Are you really real?”**_

**_“Yeah I'm real, Piglet. I'm sorry I'm late.”_ ** _Jiwon tightly returned the hug as he heard the older’s small heaving sobs. **“Shh… I’m here.”**_

_Jinhwan pulled back and caressed the younger’s face with his hands. He searched Jiwon’s face as tears streamed down his face. **“It’s really you.”**_

**_"Hi, Luv.”_ ** _Jiwon whispered before the older stood on tiptoes and pressed their lips together, his hold on Jinhwan tightening as he lifted the latter from the ground._

* * *

* * *

Jiwon had his arm around Jinhwan, running his fingers on the latter’s arm that night. He hummed to a sweet, upbeat tune - hoping to put his husband to sleep. 

**“You finished the song.”** Jinhwan nuzzled his face on the younger’s chest. 

**“Mhm… The name you gave it… Sweet Disposition? I love it. I’ll let you hear it tomorrow.”**

Jinhwan nodded and sang a portion of the lyrics to what the younger was humming to earlier, his soothing voice like a lullaby. **“ _Stay there'...Cause I'll be coming over…”_**

**“How did I get so lucky with you?”**

The older smiled widely as he wiggled his toes on the younger’s leg. **“We’re both lucky. You should thank your friend for daring you to come up to me so many years ago.”**

Jiwon snorted before rolling his eyes **. “Come to think of it, I’ll give Hanbin a call sometime soon. The kid still owes me.”** Jinhwan giggled making the younger suddenly pause. **“Piglet?”**

The older sleepily looked up. **“Yes, Pooh Bear?”**

 **“She’s so beautiful. Thank you for… everything.”** Jiwon whispered, nuzzling his nose against the older’s.

Jinhwan grinned and glanced behind him. **“We did good, Luv. Our Isabel.”** His musings were interrupted as he felt Jiwon’s finger on his chin, making him look back.

 **“I’ll make you so happy. I’ll make us happy. I promise you.”** Jiwon softly caressed Jinhwan's face before his eyes darted to the pink crib next to their bed.

The bed moved as the older giggled. **“Silly. I’m already happy with you. I would choose this life over and over as long as I have you by my side. You can promise me something else though.”**

 **“And what's that?”** The younger turned his attention back to the older.

 **“Never stop loving me and I promise to never stop loving you.”** Jinhwan’s eyes flashed a bit of worry but the smile the younger gave him made him release a relieved sigh.

Jiwon gazed at Jinhwan lovingly before hugging him closer. **“It’s forever you and me, Piglet. I love you, our Isabel and our future little ones.”** He placed a peck on the older’s forehead.

The older let his husband's warmth envelope him as he was instantly being lulled to sleep but not before whispering, **“I love you forever, Jiwon.”**

* * *

In an apartment below the now vacant room 7B, a woman lay awake with a particular nagging thought. It bothers her that something just doesn't add up. She looked to the side and glared at the sleeping man beside her. At this rate she wouldn't be able to get any proper sleep so she did the only thing she could think of. She lifted her arm in the air and dropped it heavily on the bed, landing on the man’s bare naked chest. 

**“FUCK! IS THERE A FIRE?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?”** He suddenly sat up, looking frantically around and upon realizing nothing was amiss, he breathed out a sigh. He rubbed his chest and laid back down, pouting at the woman beside him. **“What was that for?”**

**“Babe, I have a question.”**

He blinked to check on the time that read 2:30 am. **“You woke me up for this?”** He grumbled but when he saw her eyes narrowed to slots, he just nodded. 

**“I know it's been a while but… it’s been bugging me ever since. Why was I suddenly assigned to Jinhwan and Jiwon’s case? You even said not to mention my name to them. And if they filed for divorce, wouldn't that automatically be passed??”**

He rubbed his chin, craning his neck guiltily. **“Let’s talk about this in the morning, okay?”**

**“KIM HANBIN! I swear to God if you don’t answer my question, I’m withdrawing your rights for sex.”**

Hanbin sighed and scratched his head. **“Look, Jiwon is my best friend and I couldn't just watch their marriage fall apart. It's obvious that they are meant for each other and they just needed to realize that so… I called in a few favors and asked the judge to recommend therapy… with you. Happy now, Hayi?”**

 **“Well that makes a whole lot of sense now… but weren't you worried they’d find out?”** She snuggled closer to Hanbin and gently kissed his chest where her arm landed. 

Hanbin rolled his eyes and snaked his arm on Hayi’s waist. **“They are so wrapped up in their own worlds. I doubt they’d have the time to process what was really going on.”**

The only people who have known Lee Hayi as Doctor are those couples whom she has counseled. For the rest of the world, she was merely this faceless doctor who counseled couples and successfully brought them back together, whether they separate or not. It’s not like she does it intentionally, it's just that her questions somehow always reminds the couple why they fell in love in the first place.

She now finally understood why Hanbin insisted on refraining from mentioning her name because if Jinhwan and Jiwon knew, they would have deemed the therapy useless.

Hayi looked up and leaned to plant a kiss on Hanbin’s cheek. **“Thank you for telling me. I’ve always wondered what happened to those two.”**

 **“Oh, I'm pretty sure you’ll get to meet them formally soon.”** Hanbin smiled as he remembered seeing the announcement of the Kim family welcoming a baby girl. **“Now can we sleep, Future Mrs. Kim?”**

She happily nodded. Now she could finally get some sleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VIDEO DISCLAIMER: The pictures and music used are NOT mine. They are only compiled for purpose of this AU only! Thank you!
> 
> Temper Trap [Sweet Disposition](https://vimeo.com/401250598)


End file.
